Saturday, November 2, 2013

More for Lexophiles

  •  To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.        
  •  When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.        
  •  A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.        
  •  When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.        
  •  The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.        
  • The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.  
  •  A dentist and a manicurist got married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.
  •  A will is a . . . dead giveaway.        
  •  With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.
  •  Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.
  • You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.
  •  Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.
  • A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
  • When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
  • Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . .. resisting a rest.        
  • If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.
  • A bicycle can't stand alone; . . .. it is two tired.
  • In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  •  When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds.
  •  The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
  •  He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
  •  Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.
  •  When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.
---From an anonymous e-mail circular