Presidents' Month

A Different Course

"In a world that's often unnecessarily cruel, strive to be unfailingly kind."     ---C. Marie Byars

O Tannenbaum: New Translation

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How steadfast are your branches! Your boughs are green in summer's clime And through the snows of wintertime. O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How steadfast are your branches! O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your boughs can teach a lesson That constant faith and hope sublime Lend strength and comfort through all time. O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your boughs can teach a lesson. --More direct translation from the German (and more meaningful)

More for Lexophiles

•  To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.        
•  When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.        
•  A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.        
•  When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.        
•  The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.        
• The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.  
•  A dentist and a manicurist got married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.
•  A will is a . . . dead giveaway.        
•  With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.
•  Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.
• You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.
•  Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.
• A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
• When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
• Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . .. resisting a rest.        
• If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.
• A bicycle can't stand alone; . . .. it is two tired.
• In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
•  When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds.
•  The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
•  He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
•  Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.
•  When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.

---From an anonymous e-mail circular 

A Time for Everything

To paraphrase from words more divinely eloquent than mine:

"There is an appointed time for everything.  
And there is a time for every event under heaven ~
 A time to economize, and a time to expand;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
 A time to regulate, and a time to deregulate;
A time to criticize opponents, and a time to build consensus.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to be merciful , and a time to close borders;
A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search for truth, and a time to give up searching;
A time to expand business, and a time to support the environment.
A time to debate, and a time to bring together;
A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
 A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace. 
What profit is there to the populace from our toils?  I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men: to be wise stewards of earthly resources to use in the Kingdom of God.  He has made everything appropriate in its time."   

          ----Marie Byars, from Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

"Summer ends, and autumn comes, and he who would have it otherwise would have high tide always and a full moon every night.”   — Hal Borland

What Do You Call....

...twins?
Infant replay.

...a male surfer?
Man overboard.

carrot juice?

Hare tonic.      (Junior High Humor)