More for Lexophiles

•  To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.   ✐       
•  When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.     🐟🎣    
•  A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.     

                                       

•  When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.   🌆      
•  The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.        
• The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.  🔋
•  A dentist and a manicurist got married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.  💅 🦷
•  A will is a . . . dead giveaway.        
•  With her marriage, she got a new name . . .  and a dress.
•  Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you . . . A-flat miner.
• You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it.
•  Local Area Network in Australia : . . . The LAN down under.
• A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.   🥚
• When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.
• Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . .resisting a rest.   👮🚨🧒🚸      
• If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.
• A bicycle can't stand alone; . . .it is two tired.
• In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. 🧛🤴
•  When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds.
•  The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
•  He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.  📷📸
•  Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end. 👖
•  When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she'd dye.   👵

---From an anonymous e-mail circular