Monday, April 15, 2024
Pathways
Monday, April 1, 2024
Failed Products
Friday, March 1, 2024
Sunny Days
Rodney Dangerfield dopplegΓ€nger? |
Wednesday, February 7, 2024
Truman's Swans
Saturday, January 13, 2024
Friday, January 12, 2024
Spare No Expense
Friday, December 15, 2023
Euro Christmas Battle
Sunday, October 1, 2023
Downfall of Our Forebearers
Cicero Denounces Cataline --Cesare Maccari, 1889 |
Saturday, July 1, 2023
Saturday, June 24, 2023
Prince Harry in a Can
- "Todger sheaths" (blue-colored would be best sellers)
- Snake in a can joke-- Harry still recounts with relish the way he was able to pull stunts on others. He could roll out his own snake popping out of the can practical joke line.
- Dried bananas-- the prince reports bananas are a favorite food. Bananas have also figured into some of the couples' internet and royal outing stories...
- Dried mushrooms-- the big surprise would be that they are actually culinary mushrooms and NOT psychedelic mushrooms!
- Ginger Snaps or Ginger Chews (a real thing)
- Removable hip flask of hooch (see, also, below for tequila-specific suggestions). These small tins were, after all, first designed as pocket tins.
- Photo trading cards of the heroic Sussexes saving the world!
- Empty can would make a great cell phone carrier: it might block hacking! He could market this as a 2-in-1 purchase!
- Toilet paper for Arctic & Antarctic adventures
- Tequila minis-- best choice, a joint venture featuring Casamigos Tequila, co-founded by erstwhile acquaintance George Clooney and once shilled by cousin-in-law Jack Brooksbank. He might even get a deal to chug it on camera with Stephen Colbert. [It seems "recovery" from substance abuse means different things to different people, although the recovery community is quite clear about what it means to them.]
- Dried, 'smoked' roast chicken. Apparently roast chicken is another favorite dish of the prince's. [I wonder if the chickens in the Montecito coop realize this; it could make them pretty nervous if they do.] There are several ways that the chicken could be smoked...
- C**k cushion for extreme cold weather adventures. Who knows-- maybe they could even be sold in the small can? I don't really want to know that much detail. [That was a common sentiment of many readers along about January 2023.]
- There's a product sold called "Candle in a Can." Considering painful connections between "Candle" and either of Princess Diana's sons, we will pass on this and wish both men peace in this regard.
- "Air from [Name Place]" is something that is actually sold. Perhaps the California prince could sell "Air from Montecito." (Maybe Montecito is far enough out to avoid the serious smog of L.A.? No one would want "Air from Los Angeles.") There are plenty of "hot air" jokes to Spare here.
- Sterno-type Stove in a Can. Besides melting some snow to rehydrate that dried chicken in a can on your Arctic adventures, you could warm up your freezing todger a bit.
- Empty can would make a great toupee carrier. Or maybe sell "Toupee in a Can." You never know when that time might come for this prince or any man. This would be a great-crossover into cold weather adventure supplies: keeping the bald pate warm on outdoors adventures. This is another 2-in-1 marketing angle.
- In fact, launching a whole line of outdoors adventuring supplies 'in a can' could work. You, too, can go camping (or glamping) with Prince Harry, even if you can't afford to do so in Botswana.
- The empty can of either size could be used as an old-fashioned "hair receiver": save your falling hair for 'future use' in a custom toupee (if you don't purchase a pre-made toupee in the can). Still another 2-in-1 marketing plus.
- Either size could be offered in the "Dior Suit Coronation Version."
- Sadly, no "dry humor" in either can, despite the other dried goods possibilities. Harry's humor doesn't trend in that direction, not even with the help of a renowned ghost writer. Harry's is more the "in your face", unsophisticated type, often practical jokes at others' expense, if Spare is at all accurate.
More Ducal Branding
Thursday, December 1, 2022
12 Days of Christmas* Math
Saturday, August 27, 2022
Growing Up?
Saturday, June 25, 2022
What the Heck?
Friday, April 1, 2022
I Think I Am
A guy walks into a bar. The bartender is a horse. He says, "Oh, hey Rene, you want the usual?". Rene says "Yeah sure. Why the long face?". The horse and bar disappear because they were never, in fact, real and the only thing that definitely did exist was Rene.
Descartes: Umm..I think not. And he disappears.
Tuesday, March 1, 2022
Sledding (Mis)Quotes by Marie
"I sled, therefore I am" --Rene Daycart
"Climb every mountain... Then sled down." --Oscar Hammerstone
"Sometimes a sled is just a sled." --Sigmund Fraud
"I came, I saw, I sledded." --Julius Freezer
More Choices
Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Exceptional?
What's the point in arguing about the term "American exceptionalism?" We're a nation of imperfect people, founded on some amazing ideas of a democratic republic, enshrined in our Constitution. We've done some very noteworthy things; we've done some things that were stupid and even cruel. Accepting all these facets doesn't make us [1] less American, nor [2] less willing to accept or work on problematic parts of our past. Can we unify on this, too? --Marie Byars
Sunday, January 3, 2021
Try a New Tool
It's well past time for the "sides" [mostly referring to the culture wars] to think they can use the political system as a sledgehammer to "smash" their opponents into oblivion.
No one's going anywhere, folks. You're wasting a lot of energy, a lot of political capital, and a lot of your ability to try persuasion, instead. --Marie Byars
Tuesday, November 3, 2020
Pro-Life Bona Fides
Being pro-life, really being pro-life, means realizing you wanted these lives in the world when you see disagreeable toddlers in the grocery store or are seated near crying children on a plane. Oh, and blaming it on bad parenting (as in "I'm pro-life, and the mother should definitely have had these children, but they're only being awful because she's a bad parent") doesn't count. It also may not be true.
Being pro-life isn't easy for anyone. It's not easy for the mother who bore children at times that weren't convenient for her. But it's also not easy on the rest of society. If you're Christian and pro-life, it doesn't fit the full Biblical ethic to make it solely "that woman's problem." Be pro-life in the best sense of the word, and embrace the messiness that comes from children being in the world!