Friday, November 1, 2024
Happy Veteran's Day
Tuesday, October 22, 2024
Another Royal Memoir?
To recognize the release of Prince Harry's Spare in paperback and to commemorate Prince Edward's 60th birthday this past March (2024), Random Penguins Publishing is proud to announce this royal release. Every bit as honest as Spare, this release about (?) or from (?) Prince Edward takes a different format:
Tuesday, October 1, 2024
Pleasant Sound
Sunday, September 1, 2024
America the Fun
Thursday, August 1, 2024
Who's Paying?
Monday, April 15, 2024
Pathways
Friday, March 1, 2024
Sunny Days
Rodney Dangerfield dopplegänger? |
Thursday, February 1, 2024
February 14th Hoopla
Friday, December 15, 2023
Euro Christmas Battle
Wednesday, November 1, 2023
In Time for Thanksgiving...
- the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."she expressed her gratitude to the committee for their support"
- Origin
Saturday, June 24, 2023
More Ducal Branding
Wednesday, March 1, 2023
Groucho for Better Thinking
Thursday, December 1, 2022
12 Days of Christmas* Math
Saturday, August 27, 2022
Growing Up?
Monday, August 1, 2022
Internet [Clean] Aging Humor
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are
probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means "don't spill your Diet Pepsi in the car."
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new
midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand-new day, and I'm off like a
herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be
referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound
effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes
back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the
seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the
money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say
"nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three
days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed
the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I
squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound
like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly
remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words
like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would
be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life
out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those
people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
Tuesday, March 1, 2022
Sledding (Mis)Quotes by Marie
"I sled, therefore I am" --Rene Daycart
"Climb every mountain... Then sled down." --Oscar Hammerstone
"Sometimes a sled is just a sled." --Sigmund Fraud
"I came, I saw, I sledded." --Julius Freezer
More Political Choices
Friday, December 3, 2021
Quote from St. Nick
Monday, November 1, 2021
Poison Ivy
Touch my skin and make me hive-y.
Blotchy skin and splotchy face:
Itchy, itchy every place!
Should have looked a little closer,
Maybe purchased from a grocer;
Should have brought a field guide:
Now I've got that stuff inside!
Thought I knew the out-of-doors---
Wandered over hills and moors---
Now I think I'll stay at home:
'Til tomorrow---then I'll roam.
---C. Marie Byars, 1986
Friday, October 1, 2021
Birds' Nests
"Temptations, of course, cannot be avoided. But because we cannot keep birds from flying over our heads, there is no need that we should let them build a nest in our hair." -- Martin Luther's Large Catechism, "Explanation of the Sixth Petition" ("Lead us not into temptation.")
"That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change. But that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent." --Chinese proverb