Saturday, December 1, 2018

An English Major Walks Into a Bar...


*A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs.

*Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

*A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

*A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, sees the handwriting on the wall, but hopes to nip it in the bud.

*A cliché walks into a bar---fresh as a daisy, cute a s button, and sharp as a tack.

*Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."

* A synonym strolls into a tavern. 

---from bluebirdofbitterness.com

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Wisdom for Life



  • Death is the #1 Killer in the world.
  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one could die.
  • Give a person a fish, and you feed them for a day.  Give a person the internet, and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism.In the 60's, people took acid to make the world look weird.  Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it look normal.
  • Don't worry about old age: it doesn't last that long.
   --"Anonymous"; e-mail circular


Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Art TELLS Life


This 16th century Flemish [Belgian] painting takes a dim view of what happens when we humans turn on one another and devour one another.  This is happening right now, when uncaring and unfeeling economics are leaving too many workers in the U.S. with too few resources. 

(from the Chicago Art Institute---that city's museum):



Memorialized


The words of the First Amendment, immortalized on the wall of the First Amendment Building, Northern Arizona University.


     Notice what is says about religion:  the government should neither try to create a state religion nor repress citizens' rights to hold their religions.  Both "sides" in the Cultural Wars have it wrong. GLAAD & the LGBT community aren't going away, the Southern Baptists Convention isn't going away.  Evolutionary scientists aren't going away and creationists aren't going away.  Etc., etc, so we might as well learn how to agree to disagree.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Wiry



The audio on a commercial started out:  "Tired of itchy bands and digging wires?"  I was thinking about dental braces (which I recently got).  Turns out it was an ad for bras!   😉

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Ted, Jr., Yet Again


     Brigadier General Theodore (Ted) Roosevelt, Jr., was President Theodore Roosevelt's oldest son.  It is especially good to remember him on D-Day,06 JUN.  He was the first General Officer on the beach on D-day.  Not only this, but he was leaning on a cane.... from injuries sustained in World War I!!!!
     As World War I had been drawing to a close, young Major Ted Roosevelt was asked to help form the American Legion.  The picture below is from the preamble to the Legion's constitution.  It mentions freedom from the "autocracy of the classes and the masses."  Neither mob rule nor oligarchy should define our country. These words are clearly those of Ted, Jr., and his father before him.  It's a shame we can't get that balance now!  (Of note, the "classes" are mentioned first... definitely a risk in our time... has been growing since the 80s.)



     For the record, the "100% Americanism" is of note.  Both Ted and his father wanted Americans to define themselves as "Americans without hyphens."  (I don't always do this because I do sometimes define myself as German-American.  I want to keep my ancestors' culture alive, particularly as I see little actual culture afloat in White America.)  But I take the point... and it cuts both ways.  It means we also have to let people of other races and other immigration statuses fully integrate as Americans. A lot of White Americans have griped over the years that minorities don't seem to fully integrate but have blocked them when they tried.  Not cool.

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Alphabet Soup


Apparently, I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.  I don't know "why"....  😉 
---Anonymous

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Theodosius the Atrocius


It's real popular with a certain crowd of conservative Christians to talk about creating "a Christian nation" here in America.  Talk about misguided!  That's never commanded in the New Testament.  We're supposed to get on with our work of sharing the Good News of Jesus through private endeavors.

In fact, an early attempt to create "a Christian nation" did not turn out well.  The Roman Emperor Constantine is somewhat well known for making Christianity legal. Before this, Christians had suffered episodic persecution.  Then Theodosius came along and made Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire.  Theodosius did some really foolish things as emperor.  Though his rule was not the final cause of Rome's fall, it did add to it.  Plus, the Christians turned around and persecuted the pagans, something we were never told to do.  In fact, both Jesus & St. Paul had given us such injunctions as "put up your sword [in regards to religious matters]", "shake the dust off your feet [just go on your way]", and "as much as it is possible for you, live in peace with others."  

It seems to work better to use the economic benefits that come from well-run governments and societies to support the Christian Church privately.

It's interesting that Rome fell AFTER it became "officially Christian."  This should be a warning that creating a Christian nation is not going to guarantee an easy life.  Read on:

Theodosius I- Wikipedia

Theodosius I- Encyclopedia Britannica

Plus, you had people "glomming on" to Christianity to curry favor with the Emperor and other high officials. Christianity lost its glow as a movement of grace and love, first God's towards us, then Christians' towards each other.

It also led into centuries of forced state church religion in Europe. After warfare done in its name, a lot of Europe has shed Christianity.

This is NOT the way to go.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

An Ephesians Ethic


"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only such talk as is good for building up in need, so that it will give grace to those who hear."  Ephesians 4: 29

"Neither should there be filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are not fitting, but rather thanksgiving."  Ephesians 5:4 

                      --St. Paul (by the Holy Spirit)



Saturday, March 17, 2018

Nuremberg


Nuremberg is an absolutely beautiful city in Germany.  These photos are from the Frauenkirche, the Church of Our Lady (the Virgin Mary).  Nuremberg also stands as a stark reminder of other things. Because this city had a primary palace used for important events by the Holy Roman Emperor ("The Second Reich"), Hitler chose it for his Nazi rallies. Because of this, Nuremberg was nearly bombed out of existence by the Allies towards the end of World War II.  The Germans did rebuild it, but there are things that were never rebuilt. Some of this was intentional, as a perpetual reminder of the evils of Naziism.

This, of course, was also the scene of the post-war Nuremberg trials. The Allies found a venue which was not destroyed to host them.

As some of our foolish U.S. population toys with Nazi rhetoric, even daring to borrow German phrases when they probably don't speak the language, it is important to remember that eventually justice comes to those who oppress and terrorize others.




Friday, February 2, 2018

Uh, Yeah, Sure


So, let me get this straight-- it's only "trampling on the Constitution" if the other "side" does it, right?     --Marie Byars    
😏😕😖😦😧😵

Monday, January 29, 2018

Signs of Life


A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER: 

"We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you."

AT AN OPTOMETRIST’S OFFICE:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've
come to the right place."

ON A PLUMBER’S TRUCK:
"We repair what your husband fixed.”

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes.     Sit...   Stay.."

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully.  We'll wait."

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - this truck is full of Political Promises."