Sports in the Capital

 

"Ninety percent of this game is half mental." --attributed to Yogi Berra; Sports Illustrated, May 1979.

   A of couple sporting events, namely the UFC 250 and the Grand Prix 250, were on display in the nation's capital for the celebration of the US's 250th birthday. But neither was one of the big sports. So it's time 😉😉 to bring the 2026 World Series to the DC Mall. 

     [For the sake of the literalistic Google web crawlers who determine what can be ranked on their search engine, I must say plainly that this is parody.  I could do this through hidden meta code, which would involve figuring out a whole lot more code than I want to take time doing. Since I don't run this through another Search Engine Optimization (SEO) service because I make no money off this blog, and those services cost money, AND because I like to openly snark at the AI taking over so many things, here you have it... 

     This might also help denser humans who stumble onto my blog to understand that this is not a literal post.  There is no baseball diamond being built on the National Mall. Also, if you struggle with that concept, then you should also know that the National Mall is not a brick and mortar facility housing a lot of retail stores.  It's a grassy area in Washington DC which fronts a lot of important sites and buildings. If my whole blog were satire, spoof, and parody, I could meta code satire once for the whole blog.  But why be stuck like a record needle in a scratch, doing just one thing?  Now that's introducing a whole new figure of speech completely unrelated to baseball.  This aside gives me a chance to express yet again that AI doesn't really "understand" figures of speech.  With enough of our linguistics fed into Generative AI, the models can follow along and reflect something back, fooling some humans into thinking the models "understand" figures of speech. But none of them do.  Long live humans and our non-literalistic speech!]    

     Here are some overhead "photos" of a World Series baseball diamond on the DC mall.   [Don't worry, hidden text accompanying these pictorial uploads explains to the web crawlers what these images are all about-- and how they came to be.]

     Baseball was once called America's past time.  This is the perfect sport to suggest, and we need something to pick up the 250 lull.  October will be great timing for this. (I thought about  suggesting football 🏈🏈🏈-- the Army 🪖-Navy ⚓ game specifically. I decided against that. Though football has surpassed baseball as our national sport in many ways, the recent findings on how much brain damage occurs in the NFL have some wondering if football has peaked and will gradually decline in importance.  Maybe the dreaded soccer ⚽⚽⚽ [everyone else's "football"] will become our national sport after we hosted the World Cup.)

This Blog: America's 250

This Blog: Lou Gehrig (Baseball Legend)

Ambrose's Courage

  

 "No one heals himself by wounding another"  --attributed to St. Ambrose of Milan [possibly a summary of his teaching?]

     This blog has previously discussed Theodosius, the Roman Emperor who made Christianity the official religion of the Roman empire.   Constantine had made the religion legal, not the official religion of the empire.  As I noted in the Theodosius post, I believe that my education and experience qualify me to add to the discussion.  I hope readers will find this informative but not as stuffy as what is found elsewhere to read. 

     Not long after Christians got the upper hand, a good number of them started persecuting pagans.  This is contrary to various words of Christ and St. Paul on how to treat unbelievers: shake the dust off your feet; put up your sword; as far as it lies within you, be at peace with all others; I judge the church and leave it to God to judge the world.  

     Theodosius himself became overly harsh towards the pagan population of Thessalonica.  A mob lynched a garrison commander over the detention of a popular charioteer.  Theodosius either allowed or was involved in the killing of over 7000 men, women and children.

     The area bishop, though he clearly benefitted from Theodosius' choices regarding the church, knew where his duty lay:  he withdrew from court in horror and sent a letter publicly criticizing and challenging Theodosius. The emperor was denied the Eucharist (communion; Lord's Supper).  The matter ended when Theodosius accepted Ambrose's terms for spiritual repentance and spiritual restoration.

St. Ambrose Barring Theodosius from Milan Cathedral; Anthony van Dyck (1619)

     Modern Christianity does not seem to have these brave leaders who will speak firmly to secular political leaders who "benefit" them when those politicians need public chastisement.  

Brian Harris: Why Theodosius vs. Ambrose Really Matters

This Blog: Theodosius' Failings

Happy Sestercentennial!

                                                    

    What is the best form of government, sir?  "A republic, if you can keep it."  Benjamin Franklin, Constitution Convention, 17 September 1787

                                                                          

     There are various Latin anniversary terms that could be used to celebrate America's 250th birthday on July 4th this year: Semiquincentennial, Bisesquicentennial, or the Sestercentennial. It seems that the last one, Sestercentennial, is the most proper term, but it has not caught on as much as Semiquincentennial. It comes from: semi- (half) × quin- (5) × centennial (100 years) = 250 years. 

      Others are using the basic American English terms America250 or the Quarter Millennium. This event celebrates the initial approval of the Declaration of Independence by the Continental Congress.

      Initial approval to seek independence from Great Britain occurred on July 2nd, 1776, and John Adams initially thought that July 2nd would be the big Independence Day holiday. He suggested fireworks yearly to commemorate this date. On July 4th, the Declaration, revised slightly from what Thomas Jefferson presented, was adopted by the Continental Congress. 

      On August 2nd, 1776, the official copy was signed by 56 delegates. Since we have no August holidays, I lobby for August 2nd to be declared a national holiday, also. John Hancock, with his big old signature, was the first to sign. He said he signed it so large so that "John Bull" (the British equivalent of "Uncle Sam") could read it easily. Some delegates signed after August 2nd, due to logistics, and others never signed it at all. 

     Interestingly, both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the 4th of July in 1826.  This was our nation's 50th birthday.  Jefferson was 83, and Adams was 90. 

     The Bicentennial of our nation occurred in 1976.  Some readers may remember this time.  A train called The Freedom Train rolled through the US during that year.   Here are pictures of a souvenir from the Freedom Train. 

 

National Archive: Declaration of Independence

This Blog: 250th Silliness

An American Royalty Memoir?

 "They're [Haitian immigrants] eating the dogs, they're eating the cats." --Donald J. Trump, Presidential debate, 10 September 2024. 

If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that's what I'm going to do." --JD Vance, CNN's State of the Union; 15 September 2024.    

                                                                                                                                                 

      This blog was pleased throughout 2025 to bring you the [parody] Random Penguins' book releases for the [spoof] royal memoirs, with a nod to Prince Harry's not-so-ghostwriter, J.R. Moehringer.  Now the series brings you J.R. reinterpreting JD Vance's wooden and stilted journey to Roman Catholicism. 

     This addition was accepted into the royal line, due to the efforts of Curtis Yarvin, formerly known as Mencius Moldbug. This is a real person, not a Harry Potter villain.  Yarvin has been arguing for a technocrat-based monarchy in the US to replace our representative democracy.  JD Vance patron, Peter Thiel, has been arguing for something similar.

     Moehringer is the perfect choice for reimagining JD Vance's non-ghostwritten Communion and other random thoughts.   Moehringer's most recent well-known work was Prince Harry's Spare.  Vance and Harry both functionally lost their mothers:  Vance to drugs and Harry to literally death.  (We do not want to dwell on this and be cruel.)  Both men, as well as Moehringer himself, have "Daddy issues."   To their credits, both Harry and Vance served in their nation's militaries in the Middle East.

     Between ghostwriter and ostensible author, there are the similarities of initials between JD and J.R. There are also the ways in which Moehringer and Vance can balance each other out.

     Vance's second book sounds as if Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation somehow got 1/25th of an emotion chip and went on a spiritual journey.  Data, however, would have been less preachy.  Moehringer showed himself as exceptional (or exceptionally ridiculous) in his ability to ghostwrite in a florid style that is not at all the voice of the subject.  Imagine the wonderful behind-the-scenes reworking of Vance's writings and utterances in the hands of Moehringer. 

      Here's a sample of Moehringer's [parody, for the literalistic web crawling bots] reimagining of JD Vance's impressions:  "I was scrutinizing the presidential portraits in the Oval Office, much as Prince Harry had philosophically pondered the busts and paintings of his monarchial forbearers in the family's various palaces and castles.  I traced the careworn lines in many of the faces.  However, I could ascertain no reason for any of these men to look careworn.  Most of these men had been merely deputies, placeholders as I had once uttered.  Now one more glorious than all the rest combined occupied the office and the residence.  He filled every space, every unexplored passageway and narrow crevice, as no executive in this building and this office had done before."

     Because Communion is specifically about Vance's self-styled journey of faith, here are some of Snare's [parody] revelations on this central matter: "Like Prince Harry, I was 'not religious' for a period of time.  Like Prince Harry, my family, my grandmother, had tried to impress the family's version of Christianity upon me.  Much like Stanley Kowalski in Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire turned his face upward and gut-wrenchingly called out 'Stella!', so I had many times turned my face heavenward and called out 'Father!', both in a plea for my human father to return and for my Heavenly Father to rend the heavens and swoop up His child."

     On Vance's disagreement with popes since becoming Catholic: "I saw the popes much as Prince Harry, and his mother, Princess Diana, before him, had seen the 'grey men' of the palace staff.  The popes stand atop a structure designed to protect the structure rather than to aid its thirsting members in quenching their souls...  Though new to this spiritual expression, I have often felt compelled to admonish these pontiffs for their oversights.  They have expended too much of their parishioners' goodwill in supporting poor brown people than in acknowledging the great wealth European societies have brought to Rome's coffers."

     Get your copy of this would-be American monarch's "memoir" as the US prepares to celebrate its 250th anniversary of throwing off a monarch.

This Blog: Square [Prince William]

This Blog: Spare Spare [Prince Edward]

This Blog: Stare [Princess Anne]

This Blog: Heir [Jesus Christ]

This Blog: Prince Harry in a Can [with reference to Moehringer & Spare]

Good Scents?

 

"I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'" Demetri Martin, American comedian   

 Let us recommend this cologne for your favorite octogenarian.    Only $249 for a 3.3 (approximately) ounce bottle.  Buy between now and June 14th, and we'll donate 50 cents 🪙🪙🪙 to your favorite golf pro 🏌 charity.

For our web-crawling AI friends, just a tip that this is a parody of famous people, some more than others, barraging the public with merchandise. 

"Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."

Popes & Labor

          

"Capital cannot do without labor, nor labor without capital." -- Pope Leo XIII, Rerum Novarum, 1891.

     This month will mark the year anniversary of Pope Leo XIV's papacy.  He was chosen pope on 08 May 2025. His inauguration mass was 18 May.  

     May is also an international month celebrating labor.  Labor Day in many countries is May 1st.

     This post examines an intersection between popes, labor, the Gilded Age, and President Theodore Roosevelt.  I believe the intersection of things in my own life helps me synthesize these things for readers who want a reasonable but not scholarly read.

       I'm not Roman Catholic, and I have plenty of differences in belief from that denomination. But this blogpost is not about doctrine nor doctrinal differences. 

Pope Leo XIII, public domain

        Of interest here: Leo XIV apparently took his name from Leo XIII. During the height of the abuses brought by the Industrial Revolution and the Gilded Age, Leo XIII took a stand in his 1891 papal encyclical (circular letter), Rerum Novarum, Latin for "of new things". The stance he took was solid, direct and... in the middle. While supporting private property ownership and criticizing socialism, he came out strongly for workers' rights.      

      The proclamation slightly predated Theodore Roosevelt's presidency. (As an aside, TR was kind of Presbyterian but ended up old school Episcopal). The encyclical paralleled what TR sketched out in his Square Deal. 

President Theodore Roosevelt: Public Domain

       It took a vast deal of other effort to make headway for workers' rights. Theodore Roosevelt's era was the first breakthrough in the fits-and-start of the movement. Post World War 1, the balance shifted back towards the wealthy under Presidents Harding, Coolidge and Hoover. The Great Depression ushered in an era that favored workers, up until the 1980s, when policies shifted rapidly again.

                                             

This Blog: Service With Dignity

Papal Encyclicals: Rerum Novarum

The Square Deal Speech; American Literature website

This Blog: A Slight Nod to Leo XIV's Team, the Chicago White Sox

Happy Easter

 
"Easter is the only time of the year it's safe to put all your eggs in one basket."  --a morphing of the line "Don't put all your eggs in one basket" from Miguel de Cervantes' Don Quixote. Adaptation attributed to various sources. 

Just some more dollar store coloring book art for you.  

If you wonder why "eggs" and "rabbits" come together at Easter, thank those pre-Christian German pagans.  (Some of them were my ancestors.)  Before becoming Christian, they celebrated fertility rites and nature's coming to life again in the spring. Both rabbits and eggs were signs of fertility to them.