Merry Christmas!

 No pithy or humorous thoughts this time.  Just best wishes for a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year....(or Happy Hannukkuh or another holiday, as you wish).  And a picture of outdoor ice-skating in Nevada (on vacation).

 

 

Camp Puns

 

 

Central Park Charicature

Looks like me....only moreso!

The Real Laws of Nature

Forget Newton and Galileo. Here are the real laws of nature:

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5.Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician. 

--From an anonymous e-mail circular

Blessed Christmas

"When the right time had fully come, God sent His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, to redeem those who [live under] the Las. This is so that we might receive the full rights of sons[and daughters]." ---St. Paul, Galatians 4:14

The Quality of Today's Recruits

Treasures

"The best things in life aren't free---they're priceless!" --Marie Byars

Ideas to Live By

     Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio:  "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My 'odometer' rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will.. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day... Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."45-1/2. (added by Marie): Nothing really matters much more than "Jesus loves me this I know." And how? "For the Bible tells me so."
(Thanks to my long-term friend, Beth, for sending me this!!!!)

The Way I See It #233

     "I used to think that going to the jungle made my life an adventure. However, after years of unusual work in exotic places, I realize that it is not how far off I go or how deep into the forest I walk that gives my life meaning. I see that living life fully* is what makes life---anyone's life, no matter where they do or do not go---an adventure." ---Maria Fadiman, National Geographic Explorer [from a Starbuck's coffee cup]

  *Actually, life in God is where the real adventure and purpose of life are. But if you aren't in Him, this secular substitute is about the best human wisdom there is for a full life.

An Erma Bombeck Life*

Nature abhors a vacuum. And so do I. Especially since it's moving time! ---Marie Byars

*Erma Bombeck was a humorist who wrote mostly on the drudgery of household upkeep.

Happy Mother's Day!

Children are the most delightful pledges of a loving marriage. They are the best wool on the sheep. ---Martin Luther

It is well known that children, according to the ordinary course of things, bear not only the physical appearance of their parents, but also their moral and mental characteristics. ---Martin Luther

In all simplicity and without any argument, children believe that God is gracious and that there is an eternal life. ----Martin Luther

You Musta Been a Beautiful Baby

"There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ---Chinese Proverb

Ouch!

There's nothing quite so sharp as a skinny child's elbow! ---Marie Byars

Ya Gotta Be Kidding!

"Safety experts" warn us to minimize distractions while driving. Are any of these people parents?!?!?!?!? ---Marie