Another Royal Memoir?

      To recognize the release of Prince Harry's Spare in paperback and to commemorate Prince Edward's 60th birthday this past March (2024), Random Penguins Publishing is proud to announce this royal release.  Every bit as honest as Spare, this release about (?) or from (?) Prince Edward takes a different format:

     Born the spare to the existing spare, Prince Andrew, both brothers displaced Princess Anne, who had previously been the "spare" to then-Prince Charles (now King Charles III).  Until the rules were updated for Prince William's children, boys moved ahead of girls.  Anne does not seem to have minded. 

     As others ahead of him had children and grandchildren, Edward moved from 3rd in line to the throne to his current 14th in line.  Edward seems also to not have minded.  Some royals take these things with better graces than do others.

     The publisher celebrates this book as a fresh approach, a combination of memoir and unauthorized biography.  For this book, J.R. Moehringer steps out of his previous shadow as ghostwriter, a role that was no longer fulfilling to him.  He searches out and evaluates old records of Prince Edward's utterances.  He embeds himself in crowds following the prince, as well as within staff functions, to record contemporary utterances.

     In his inimitable (fortunately!) style, Moehringer once again weaves in florid passages, tangled observations on history, and philosophic ponderings.  In this case, these insertions flow better than they did in Spare because (a) Edward attended and completed university, and (b) Edward has a flair for theater (or "theatre", if you prefer).

    This book comes with an additional perk:  the publisher will send a new dustcover, free of charge, each time Edward's place in the line of succession moves up or down.

Book Weary

 

As school semesters draw to or have drown to a close, many students can relate to these words:

"Of making of many books there is no end,

And much study is wearisome to the flesh."  

                                             ----Ecclesiastes 12:12b

Failed Products

     Sometimes products just don't catch on the way developers hope.  Here are some product disappointments of recent years:

Oh, yes and Happy April Fools' Day!  😁 😜

Contranyms

 

     Contranyms are single words that have two contradictory meanings (they are their own opposites!).  They are somewhat rare. Still, here are 10 of them:

1.  Apology:  a statement of contrition (sorrow) for an act, or a firm defense of one

2.  Bolt:  to secure, or to flee

3.  Bound:  heading to a destination, running off ('bounding away') OR restrained from movement at all

4.  Cleave:  to adhere to, or to separate

5.  Dust:  to add fine particles, or to removed them

6.  Fast:  quick, or stuck/made stable

7.   Left:  remained, or departed

8.   Peer:  a person of the nobility, or an equal  (actually the 2nd came out of the first; the peers were each other's equals, with rights the hoi polloi didn't have)

9.   Sanction:  to approve, or to boycott

10.  Weather: to withstand, to wear away

I Think I Am

 "I think, therefore I am." --Rene Descartes, 17th century French philosopher ["Cogito ergo sum"/"Je pense donc je suis"] 

 "I think, therefore life is more difficult." 😏😉 -- Marie Byars, 20-21st century American dilettante 

 " 'I Think, Therefore I Am Misunderstood.' " --Newsweek article title; 15 October, 2006 

Why is René Descartes considered a thinker? Because he is. 😏 (Ponder that one!) 

 "I think, therefore I have anxieties." -- The sufferer of anxiety disorders 

 A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “why the long face?” The horse morosely replies, “my wife wants a divorce, she says I’m an alcoholic.” The bartender asks if he is, and the horse answers, “I don’t think I am” and promptly vanishes from existence. 

 A guy walks into a bar. The bartender is a horse. He says, "Oh, hey Rene, you want the usual?". Rene says "Yeah sure. Why the long face?". The horse and bar disappear because they were never, in fact, real and the only thing that definitely did exist was Rene. 

Did you hear about the philosopher who was trampled? It was a tragic example of putting Descartes before the horse. 

Waitress: Sir, do you want one more coffee? Descartes: Umm..I think not. And he disappears. "I don't think so", said René Descartes. Just then he vanished. 

Rene Descartes comes into a bar. He orders a really old and expensive bottle of wine and after a couple of hours when he's done drinking it, he stands up from his chair, planning to leave. The bartender stops him: "Sir you have to pay for this!", Rene stops and says, "I don't think so" and disappears. 

A man offers Descartes $100 to jump in a lake. Without thinking, Descartes ceases to exist. 

Rene Descartes walks into an empty room... After some time he remarks, “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?” (for the advanced philosopher 😏 ) 

What do you call an empty, self-aware 2-dimensional space? Descartes Blanche

What's Your Path?

 

Some quotes to ponder as you hike this summer... or not 😉

"Only those who wonder will find new paths."  --Norwegian Proverb

"Curiosity keeps us heading down new paths." --Walt Disney

"No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."  --Francois Mauriac (French novelist of the early 20th century and lifelong Roman Catholic)

"Mountains cannot be surmounted, except by winding paths."  --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (German poet)

"Difficult roads often have beautiful destinations."  --Zig Ziglar (American motivational speaker)

"In order to get through the hardest journey, wo only need to take one step at a time... but we MUST keep on stepping."  --Chinese Proverb

"An interesting journey never follows a straight path."  Marjan van der Belt ([female] New Zealand-American Ecological Economist)

"Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."  --Ralph Waldo Emerson (American 19th philosopher & author; co-founder of the Transcendental Meditation religious movement)

"In life, you either find your own path and lead a authentic life,  or follow others and become part of a herd."  --Paul T.P. Wong (Canadian Psychologist)

"Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you ca walk with love and reverence."  ---Henry David Thoreau (American 19th philosopher & author; co-founder of the Transcendental Meditation religious movement)

"Your Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." --King David of Israel, ~1000 B.C. in Psalm 119:105

Wisdom from a Spiritual Source

     The work of William Cowper (pronounced "Cowper"; 1731-1800) is featured on both my blogs this month. For more information, see the Christian Nature Poetry blog.
     Below are some timeless quotes from Cowper. Source material provided when possible.

"Variety's the very spice of life, That gives it all its flavour." --"The Timepiece", 1785; lines 606-607

"I am monarch of all I survey..." --Verses Supposed to be Written by Alexander Seldirk, 1782; line 1

"But still remember, if you mean to please, To press your point with modesty and ease." --William Cowper, John William Cunningham; “The works of William Cowper: Poems : with an essay on the genius and poetry of Cowper”, p.158 (1835)

"Absence of proof is not proof of absence."

"Who loves a garden loves a greenhouse, too." --“The Task: A Poem. In Six Books”, p.89 (1810)

"God made the country, and man made the town." --"The Sofa" line 749 (1785)

Cowper Summer Home, Olney, England

"Misery still delights to trace Its semblance in another's case." --“The Works of William Cowper: His Life, Letters, and Poems. Now First Completed by the Introduction of Cowper's Private Correspondence”, p.446 

“If the world like it not, so much the worse for them.” --Letters

"A little sunshine is generally the prelude to a storm."

"A life of ease is a difficult pursuit." -- “Poems”, p.290 (1815)

"No one was ever scolded out of their sins."

"When nations perish in their sins, 'tis in the Church the leprosy begins." --“Poems of William Cowper, Esq”, p.57 (1824) 

"The darkest day, if you live till tomorrow, will have past away."

"Nature is a good name for an effect whose cause is God." -- "The Winter Walk At Noon”

"England, with all thy faults, I love thee still..." --“The Life and Works of William Cowper: His life and letters by William Hayley" (1835) 

"No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach."

Ye therefore who love mercy, teach your sons to love it, too. --“The Poetical Works of William Cowper”, p.143 (1854)

"A fool must be right now and then, by chance." --"Conversation" line 96 (1782)

“Knowledge is proud that he has learned so much. Wisdom is humble that he knows not more.”

“Satan trembles, when he sees the weakest Saint upon his knees.” --“Olney Hymn 29: Exhortation To Prayer” 

"Man may dismiss compassion from his heart, but God never will."   --"The Winter Walk At Noon” 

"A self-made man? Yes, and one who worships his Creator."

"We turn to dust, and all our mightiest works die too." “The Works of William Cowper: Comprising His Poems, Correspondence, and Translations. With a Life of the Author”, p.83 (1835).

"Skins may differ, but affection Dwells in White and Black the same." --joint works & letters with James Thomson (1850)

     Cowper was an ardent abolitionist. He wrote a poem, "The Negro's Complaint." [old-fashioned terminology] A couple centuries later, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., quoted Cowper.

Bio from The Poetry Foundation

Cowper: "Light Shining Out of Darkness"; Christian Nature Poetry blog

Cowper: Seasonal Poem, Christian Nature Poetry Blog 

The Pitfalls of Libertarianism

(aka:  "The United States of Koch Brothers")

(1)  This has never been a Libertarian country.  No matter what libertarians try to say about the early days and the Founding Fathers, it never was.  

(2)  Even if it had a bit more of a Libertarian bent in the early decades, that would no longer work, practically, in today's society. Things have changed. At the time of our founding, we were much more rural.  And if people ran out of space or wanted second chances or wanted to try to "get ahead", they often moved further west, where they could homestead.  (I'm not going to argue the ethics here about whether they should have taken land from Native Americans.  I'm only presenting what happened.)

(3)  When we were more rural, there was less social unrest. And those who were still rural could insulate themselves from a lot of it.  Now that we're living on top of each other in cities and sizeable towns, we can't do that.  If only for self-interest, there has to be some sort of safety net.  The alternative is to spend a lot more on law enforcement and incarceration.

(This is not to argue to liberal opposite that we must try to equalize income.  That would be socialism.  Of course, there are leaders on the Right that want to talk about any increase on taxes on the 1% for the public good as "socialism."  I know this for a fact because I went to see my congressman, Representative Trent Franks, in person [knowing it was probably a lost cause but doing so, anyway] armed with facts, and he tried bringing up the "s" word.  I shot that down... there was a long time that the top earners paid higher taxes in the 20th Century. And they lived through it... quite well, in fact.)

(4)  The Koch Brothers, when you read their stuff thoroughly, would truly like to work their way down to a 0% tax rate.  Think about that, if it really happens.  No public roads, no public libraries, no student loans, no public education, no consistency from one state to another.  Talk about your roving hoards in that scenario...

(5)  Kansas was so bankrupt from trying the Koch Brothers-Laffer [see above post]-Grover Norquist-type supply-side tax reductions that some schools couldn't even finish the 2016/2017 school year.  Yeah, increasing an under-educated, under-paid portion of society is always a good thing.... especially now that we live on top of each other!

(6)  Maybe some of the uber-wealthy are planning to build compounds to protect themselves from the social unrest.  However, when there's less money from the middle class being spent on the stuff that rich people's corporations put out, it's going to hit them, too. Because all this WILL shrink the middle class, or at least its buying power.  See the many links to economics in this blog.

(7)  Read the new book The CEO Pay Machine:  How It Trashes America and How to Stop It, by Steven Clifford, himself a former CEO.  Trust me, just read it.

(8)  The Koch Brothers are really Libertarians, trying to worm their way into the GOP because Libertarianism never got anyone elected.  (In fact, one of them was once on the Libertarian ticket as a vice presidential candidate.)  They really aren't social conservative; they're just happy to use the social conservatives to get their way.  (They'll pose as Centrists when it works for them, because Libertarians tend to avoid the Culture Wars by expressing "live and let live" ideas.)

As Libertarians, they are pro-choice.  (Or as many social conservatives would phrase it, they're "pro-abortion.")  In my more cynical moments, I wonder if their grand scheme is to offer, and even promote, abortion for the poorer in society so no one would have to pay for services for them.  (A return to Margaret Sanger's "eugenics"??)  

(9)  The Koch Brothers, who are late 70s (one pushing 80) will probably not be around to see all the havoc they've promoted, if their views hold sway.    But WE will all live with it.... including my son, whom I'm wondering if there will even be a decent student loan program for him to go to college on.

(10)  TEDDY ROOSEVELT STYLE REPUBLICANISM.  Balance between what business/labor/environmental concerns!!!!!  That should be more of a common goal as Americans.

Statues of Presidents, downtown Rapid City, SD, near Mount Rushmore

The Mighty Baywolf (an epic)

[with NO apologies to Beowulf nor my high school English teachers]

There is a Saxon Fierce
As strong as 30 steers
Who claims he's felt no fears
In all his 80 years.
'Round him rise up jeers
From warriors chugging beers.
Baywolf rises as he leers
Greeted by his brave band's cheers.
What I see now does certainly beat all
In this, the cold and stench-filled mead hall:
Baywolf, standing proud and tall
Sees his opponents 'round him fall
As his troops prepare to maul.

Soon all that are left are a foolish two
Who faint in fear when Baywolf says "Boo."

"Beowulf", 1910
from Hero-Myths and Legends of the British Race

Baywolf, the victor, feels quite bold
And turns to his men, ready to scold:
"Comrades-in-arms, you know I am old
And down to my bones I am always cold.
But, you, young men, are not very bold,
For rather than bathe, you're covered with mold.
And unless we kill this bard, 'twill always be told
How, among us, this ignominious day
Men fell around us this disgraceful way
As your own odor greeted each nose,
And they fell dead, without any blows."

As they turn on me quickly,
I let out a plea:
If before I die, they'll humor me,
And find me a word that rhymes with "orange."

----C. Marie Byars
 

The 50 Shades of the Picture of Dorian Christian Grey

[trash reading for the literary-minded*]

Dorian Christian Grey was exceptionally good-looking and successful in business... whatever that business was.  His friends keep reminding him of how handsome he is.  He sees other people in business aging, being treated as irrelevant, and, well, just not looking "hot" anymore.

 

Dorian had had his portrait painted by an up-and-coming artist.  The portrait and Grey's patronage launched this painter.  But, now, Dorian decides he will make a deal with the dar kside: he will sell his eternal soul for eternal youth.  His aging and every ugly deed he does will show up on the portrait,  instead, which he keeps hidden.

 

 He seduces and marries a young girl, "Anesthesia" (because she quickly dulls the mind, being so vapid). After a few "off-beat" encounters with her (which he had insisted upon, despite her half-hearted commitment), Grey decides he needs something much more bizarre to maintain interest.  He makes Ana sign a contract adhering to absolute secrecy on her part,  agreeing to do whatever he says. He then shows her the portrait and forces her to do weird, unspeakable things with it. (Therefore, I will not speak of them.  But, unfortunately for her, they do not involve body paint.) 

 

 

There are other sources of twisted enjoyment for Grey in this bizarre set-up. He also takes some sort of strange pleasure out of watching his portrait and his wife age while he does not.   He also gets a cheap thrill that "runs like electric current through the very core of his being" (just had to throw in the gratuitous Harlequin romance-type comment) by having her always refer to him as "Mr. Grey, sir."  He enjoys her degradation at watching the French maid (another gratuitous addition) refer to him as "Mon Cheri" or "Babycakes."

 

This goes on for decades.  However, the French maids came and went because, well, they weren't "hot" anymore. Ana realizes his immortal soul is in danger... and, amazingly, she still cares.  At last, she throws caution to the wind, and saves them both.   She throws the portrait in the fire, and he instantly ages. 

 

Grey feels freed, and embraces his new life... a life in Depends, which by now has become a "fetish" for both of them. With his business connections, they become spokespeople for Depends, and meet Mick Jagger on the Rolling Stones Depends tour. 

 

They all live happily ever after... well, at least for about five years.  Then the Grim Reaper, with cold and calculated precision (another gratuitous trite phrase) aims his steady scythe first at Dorian. Ana, seeing this, throws herself on the Reaper's scythe (thanks, Will, for that literary device from Romeo & Juliet).  As the reader can see, even though she disentangled herself from the messy portrait business, she remained as vapid as ever.  

 

[Warning to children & others:  do not try this at home.  Throwing yourself on sharp objects, ending your life for a lost love or ANY reason, or threatening to or thinking about doing are very serious.  Seriously.  Bad parody aside.]

 

 The Reaper stealthily captured Mick during a botox procedure to keep those fantastic lips.

 

So, they all left the world, only minimally improved from basic shallowness.   And, there, my readers, you have it: a Grey literary mash-up. (Not so hard because both men in the originals were callow.)  A mash-up with some elements for the "greying" crowd (pun intended).

 

     ----Author; wisely disavows public connection

     ----Published: USA, TakeAdVANTAGE Books, 3 years from never

 

*For my Christian readers: don't think I've turned on you.  I didn't read the "50" series nor see the movie; just read about them.

For those who object to "50" on domestic violence grounds, please don't think I'm making light of your concerns.  Concerns noted. I agree that Christian Grey shows very abusive tendencies, whatever someone might think separately about BDSM.

 

 

The Quality of Mercy

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings.
But mercy is above this sceptered sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings;
It is an attribute of God himself;
And earthly power doth then show like God's
When mercy seasons justice.

---William Shakespeare; 1600
(Portia’s speech in Act IV, Scene 1 of The Merchant of Venice)

The so-called "Chandos Portrait", once owned by the Duke of Chandros.
Painted by John Taylor, c. 1610.
National Portrait Gallery, London.

Never Fear

"I am never afraid of what I know." ---Anna Sewell; Black Beauty (1877) 🐴🏇

Higher Education

The faculty members might just as well keep their seats. There'll be no diving for this cigar. . .Well I thought my razor was dull until I heard his [the introducing professor's] speech. . .As I look out over your eager faces, I can readily understand why this college is flat on its back. The last college I presided over, things were slightly different. I was flat on my back. Things kept going from bad to worse, but we all put our shoulders to the wheel, and it wasn't long before I was flat on my back again. " ---Groucho Marx, in his first speech as a new college president in Horse Feathers

Educational T.V.

"I find television very educating. Every time someone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book!" ---Groucho Marx

 

The "Poe" College Student

Once upon a midnight dreary 

While I pondered weak and weary 

O'er forgotten volumes literary, 

And having no time to go and make merry 

As the words on the page grew small and bleary

And thoughts of "Dreamland" warm and cheery: 

I, finding myself no longer wary 

Let out a shriek that was really quite scary--

Quoth my raving, "Nevermore!" ---C. Marie Byars, 1985

Literary Groucho

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read! ---Groucho Marx