Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Dave Barry in Review, 2018

Once again, we have Dave Barry's Miami Tribune review of the bizarre year that just passed, and each year we keep saying to ourselves "can it get more bizarre?"  Apparently, the answer is "yes."

What makes Barry so great is that he skewers everyone, including us, "John Q. Public." And, frankly, by the choices we're making on so many fronts, we deserve it.

Dave Barry Offers His Annual Insight Into the Year That Was...2018

Saturday, December 1, 2018

An English Major Walks Into a Bar...

*A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs.

*Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

*A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

*A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, sees the handwriting on the wall, but hopes to nip it in the bud.

*A cliché walks into a bar---fresh as a daisy, cute a s button, and sharp as a tack.

*Two quotation marks walk into a "bar."

* A synonym strolls into a tavern. 

---from bluebirdofbitterness.com

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Wisdom for Life

  • Death is the #1 Killer in the world.
  • Life is sexually transmitted.
  • Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one could die.
  • Give a person a fish, and you feed them for a day.  Give a person the internet, and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to criticism.In the 60's, people took acid to make the world look weird.  Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it look normal.
  • Don't worry about old age: it doesn't last that long.
   --"Anonymous"; e-mail circular