Friday, November 20, 2009

Treasures


"The best things in life aren't free---they're priceless!" --Marie Byars

One-Hit Wonder!


Q: What's the most requested pop song at Notre Dame Cathedral?
A: "Gargoyles Just Wanna Have Fun!" (ouch!)

Monday, November 16, 2009

Laymen's Guide to Pregnancy Terms


Baby Most common pop song lyric 
Baby Shower Actually, baths are recommended
Birth Canal Formerly known as "Love Canal" 
Booties What's shakin' at the club 
Cesarean Section Where Julius always sat at the Coliseum 
Coach How you can afford to fly after Baby comes 
Cravings Why you're sold on "Ben" and "Jerry" for baby names 
Delivery Pizza or Chinese? 
Due Date Librarians' top concern 
Engorged Why your cups runneth over 
Fatigue French for "overweight" 
Fertilization Why you're growing at this rapid rate 
Fetus "We're hungry!" 
Genes What you won't be fitting into for a while 
Heartbeat Amount of time it takes to get pregnant 
Lamaze L.A. Freeways 
Maternity Synonym for "achy & tired" 
Morning Sickness Bringing up dinner at breakfast 
2 O'Clock Feedings No, not late lunches with "the girls" 
Placenta Italian food made from cornmeal 
Rocker Bowie, Jagger, Van Halen, etc. 
Stretch Marks Groucho's taller brother 
Umbilical Cord A real love connection 
Vitamins Great Supplement to pickles & ice cream 
Womb The best prenatal unit there is!