Bane & Woe

Naughty, naughty, Poison Ivy:
Touch my skin and make me hive-y.
Blotchy skin and splotchy face:
Itchy, itchy every place!

Should have looked a little closer,
Maybe purchased from a grocer;
Should have brought a field guide:
Now I've got that stuff inside!
Thought I knew the out-of-doors---
Wandered over hills and moors---
Now I think I'll stay at home:
'Til tomorrow---then I'll roam.
---C. Marie Byars, 1986

A Square Deal

"We must treat each man on his worth and merits as a man. We must see that each is given a square deal, because he is entitled to no more and should receive no less." ---Teddy Roosevelt; 1904 campaign [good words for this political season]

   

You Musta Been a Beautiful Baby

"There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." ---Chinese Proverb

Not an Addition

"Every time he opens his mouth, he subtracts from the sum total of human wisdom" ---Teddy Roosevelt; regarding a Civil Service Commission flunky

Friendship

As for myself, I judge the loss of all one's possessions easier to bear than the loss of a faithful friend. ---Martin Luther

Throughout life, a faithful friend is a very great blessing. . .he can offer help in ordinary dangerous difficulties, but also regarding spiritual temptations. For even though your heart is totally confirmed in the Holy Spirit, there is still a great advantage in having a friend with whom you can talk about religion and from whom you may hear words of comfort. ---Martin Luther

He that has many friends has no friends. ---AEsop

Why a Duck?

[In the Marx Bros. movie Cocoanuts, Groucho is Mr. Hammer, a swindler conducting a Florida land auction. Chico is an idiot savant he hires to make false bids to drive up land prices. (Universal Studios currently owns the rights to this movie, which will soon enter the public domain.  The rights have been sold and resold over time.)]]

HAMMER: Do you know what a lot is?
CHICO: Yeah, itsa too much.
HAMMER: I don't mean a whole lot. Just a little lot with nothing on it.
CHICO: Any time you gotta too much, you gotta whole lot. . .
HAMMER: Come here, Rand McNally and I'll explain this thing to you. Now look, this is a map and diagram of the whole Cocoanut section. . .Here's Cocoanut Manor. Here's Cocoanut Heights. That's a swamp; right over there where the road forks, that's Cocoanut Junction.
CHICO: Where have you got Cocoanut Custard?
HAMMER: Why, that's on the forks. You probably eat with your knife, so you wouldn't have to worry about that. . .Now, here's a little peninsula, and here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
CHICO: Why a duck?
HAMMER: . . .I say, here is a little peninsula, and here's a viaduct leading over to the mainland.
CHICO: All right. Why a duck?
HAMMER: I'm not playing Ask-Me-Another. I say, that's a viaduct.
CHICO: All right. Why a duck? Why a--why a duck? Why-a-no-chicken?
HAMMER: I don't know why-a-no-chicken. I'm a stranger here myself. All I know is that it's a viaduct. You try to cross over there a chicken, and you'll find out why a duck. It's deep water, that's viaduct.
CHICO: That's why a duck?
HAMMER: Look! Suppose you were out horseback riding and you came to that stream and wanted to ford over there. You couldn't make it. Too deep.
CHICO: But what do you want with a Ford when you gotta horse?
HAMMER: I'm sorry the matter ever came up. All I know is that it's a viaduct.
CHICO: Now look. . .all righta. . .I catcha on to why0a-horse, why-a-chicken, why-a-this, why-a-that. I no catch on to why-a-duck.
HAMMER: I was only fooling. They're going to build a tunnel in the morning. Now, is that clear to you?
CHICO: Yes, everything---except why-a-duck. . .
HAMMER: And then, there's a little clearing there, a little clearing around it. You see that wire fence there?
CHICO: All right. Why-a-fence?
HAMMER: Oh no. We're not going to go all through that again!

BTW: The URL of this blog---that's "why a duck"!!!