(from an e-mail circular)
- I changed my I-Pod’s name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the “wurst.”
- A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
- A class trip to the Coca-Cola factory: I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
- I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
- I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
- Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
- Never fall in love with a tennis player because to a tennis player, love means nothing.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
