What does a famous royal do after many months of staying in and caring for a recovering spouse? They write a non-ghost-written memoir that contains nothing salacious. Random Penguins brings you the memoir you've been dreaming of in time for Valentine's Day. Keep dreaming:
Square: A Tale of Maturation; chapter headings and partial synopses:
- Forward: No More Wild Child
- Aristos: Allies or Adversaries?
- This Rex Is Not Oedipus (moving from a childish to an adult view of parents)
- Sneaking Camilla's Ciggies
- Annoying Baby Brothers, Part 1: The Eton Years
- Altered Reality & Moving On (Harry has insinuated he has more sibling dirt. *Yawn* Almost no one would be shocked. Some people move on.)
- Discretion is the Better Part of Valour (keeping "first times," and every time after, private)
- Piloting Without Preening (from 2009-2015, there were various military and civilian postings as a helicopter pilot)
- Undergoing Therapy: It's Not a Whinge Fest (A good therapist tells you things you don't want to hear: it's important to listen. Includes special insertion by various therapists discussing the phenomena and pitfalls of stubbornness.)
- Care & Feeding of Staff: From School Matrons to Protection Officers to Palace Staff
- The Wedding of the Century
- 50 Shades of Grey Tweed: From City Boy to Country Squire
- Adult Highs: Bicycling with Children
- Bratty Baby Brothers, Part 2 (with a special section by 'Pa' [King Charles III] on how his youngest of brothers, Uncle Edward, matured better than Uncle Andrew)
- Environmentalism Is Not Performative Art
- Royal Todgers are Private Business [There is no other text for this chapter; this is it. Prince Harry went too far, not only in discussing his own nether regions, but also in alluding to his brother's on the matter of circumcision. --ed]
- Caring for Catherine (no "naughty nurse" outfits, as in her past Halloween looks, just lots of love & care)
- Epilogue: "It's Hip to Be Square" (Huey Lewis & The News put out their song "Hip to Be Square" in 1986. 'Mummy' was fond of all sorts of 80s pop music. The song not only brings back memories; it describes daily life now.)
