Sunday, May 29, 2011

FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES

(LOVERS OF WORDS)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

10. A calendar's days are numbered.

11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye..

18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet

---from an e-mail circular



Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Love of God


"Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God....This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us." --John the Apostle; (I John 4: 7b; 3: 16a)

Happy St. Valentine's Day!!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Marx My Words


Have you heard of the Marx Brothers' lesser-known rock 'n' roll brother?? Led Zeppo???  (hee, hee)


Saturday, January 1, 2011

Enjoy Some "Duck Soup"


Why the title Duck Soup?!?!?!

Paramount, 1933


Earlier (in 1927), director Leo McCarey had made a two-reel Laurel and Hardy film with the same title - and he used it again. The film's title uses a slang phrase familiar in early 20th century America. It means anything "simple" or "easy", or alternately, a "gullible sucker" or "pushover." 

The film has become a classic--the ultimate send-up of power-hungry dictators.  Groucho supposedly provided the following recipe to explain the title: "Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life." 

(Under the opening credits, four quacking ducks [stylized four Marx Brothers] swim & simmer in a heating kettle.)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Unforgotten Hospitality

 
While [Mary & Joseph] were [in Bethlehem], the time came for her Child to be born, and she gave birth to her first-born Son. She wrapped Him in infant wrapping-cloths and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for Him in the inn. ---Luke 2:7

[Jesus said], "....when I was a stranger, you invited Me in." ---Matthew 25:35b 
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!