Failed Products

"People who buy things are suckers." --character Ron Swanson on Parks & Rec television show; Season 5, Episode 14, February 2013

     Sometimes products just don't catch on the way developers hope.  Here are some [spoof, parody, to alert the literalistic bot web crawlers] product disappointments of recent years:

Oh, yes and Happy April Fools' Day!  😁 😜

Sunny Days (Personal Reflections)

"Now is the winter of our discontent 

Made glorious summer by this sun of York..." 

Opening lines of William Shakespeare's Richard III, wr. 1592-1594;  spoken by Richard, Duke of Glouster

 

        In this "brave new frontier" of bots crawling our sites and evaluating them, that favor literal interpretations of humans' written language unless specified otherwise, I feel compelled to inform you of what most adult human readers would already realize:  this post is mostly personal reflections, but the blog is not confined to this.  More than that, this post relies heavily on images, pictures of Mexican-style sun face or sun & moon face decorations.  But even though this is a relatively straight forward article about personal observations and possessions, I did get in this little chance to remind us all of an area where we're superior to AI: our critical thinking skills when we hone and use them. And I do not believe, in offering this as an opinion, that I am without standing to make this observation.

     Anyway...   Winter has been dragging on a long time in some places.  Here are some of our terra cotta (and poured concrete) sun (and moon) faces to hopefully cheer you up.

     This poured concrete one is new:  one of my Christmas gifts to my husband.  Some of the turquoise paint was on there, but I made the turquoise eye more noticeable.  The moon part was all turquoise, no accents.  We both thought it would look better with a terra cotta eye, "stars" and other accents, so I added those.

       The terra cotta one below was our out-front stand-by for years.  It was also a past Christmas gift to my husband.  I added the turquoise details for effect.  (Our current house, Mediterranean style, has a terra cotta house number sign.  I painted the numbers turquoise, too.)  The cracks are just the aging of untreated terra cotta, which is like those pots for plants.  The super glue will prevent further cracking, but he's "lost points", too.  He's going on the back wall.  

Rodney Dangerfield dopplegänger?

  

 

        This smaller terra cotta face has mostly been an inside decoration.  He's too small to see well outside.   Turquoise accents also added by me.

     

   This sun/moon was also a gift to my husband.  He painted this one quite brightly years ago.  It is also an indoors decoration.

     And, finally, this coloring sheet, shaded with colored pencil.  It's kind of an impressionistic view and could be a house here in the desert, surrounded by one of the varieties of Eurasian poplar trees that many people plant across the southwest and even midwestern US in rows. 

   

Truman's Swans

  

     In the early months of 2024, FX generated a lot of buzz about its Season 2 series of The Feud.  The season focused on Truman Capote's "swans."

     But decades before the FX program, even before the real Truman Capote was famous, there were the original Truman's swans.   Harry Truman loved his swans.  Biographies will say that Harry had no middle name, just the letter "S" to honor his grandfathers.  In reality, the "S" stood for "Swans", his mother's great love.  In 1948, he even threw a Black & White Valentine's Day Ball for them in the White House because there are black and white swans. [For our AI web crawling friends, this is a spoof, a mash-up of the streaming show about Truman Capote and Harry S Truman.  It's a shame that AI doesn't know this.  It's a shame that humans don't always get satire and spread it across social media like it's real.]

     The swans were a jealous bevy.  They turned on each other and became aggressive.

     They even started attacking Truman and the iconic Presidential Desk.  They had to go.

     Truman got his revenge.  He sent them to the Kansas City (Missouri) Zoo.  Their descendants are still annoyed by loud humans and their offspring today.  

Digitally Altered, in the Public Domain

February 14th Hoopla (Chaucer's Poem)

 

Why is February 14th, (Saint) Valentine's Day, such a cash cow 💰💸🐄🐮for Hallmark, florists & chocolatiers?  🎴💟🍫🎕

While a lot of stories turn out to be urban myths, Geoffry Chaucer's poem "The Parlement of Foules" ["The Parliament of Fowls"], written around 1375, seems to be a real reason why.

From Chaucer, in Middle English:

For this was on Seint Valenteyns day

When every foul cometh ther to chese his make...

As they were wont alwey fro yeer to year,

Seint Valenteyns day to stonden there...

Seint Valentyn, that art ful hy on-lofte

Thus syngen smale foules for thy sake...

-OR-

For this was on Saint Valentine's Day,

When every fowl comes there to choose his mate...

As they regularly do from year to year

On Saint Valentine's Day staying firmly there...

Saint Valentine, that is fully lifted up (upon us)

Thus sing small fowls for your sake...

      What?  This holiday morphed from something quasi-Christian to a poem about bird love to a serious cash layout to show you really care?  

     There were possibly up to three Valentines who lived in the third century A.D., when Christians were being persecuted by Romans. Possibly one or more died on February 14th.

     The stories about Valentine speak of love, but not romantic love.  It is a "fraternal" love for brother and sister Christians, played out by extreme sacrifice.

     However, prior to that, the Romans had looked at February as a "month for lovers", so that may have influenced why Chaucer set his meeting of the birds on St. Valentine's Day.  Ordinarily, that seems a bit early for mating season in England.

     So, if you're done with the V-D routine, try something different.  Offer to read your loved one Chaucer's poem in Middle English. That ought to kill any over-the-top romantic expressions (unless you're both majoring in older English literature).  😅

     If you're Christian, you could always view the theatrically released movie Paul, the Apostle of Christ as a family. That movie shows the type of love Valentine was said to exhibit.  

     Happy Valentine's Day! 

Beyond Dreaming

 

This MLK Day, how about we do something more than dream it?  How about we live it?  --Marie Byars, original quote 

Martin Luther King, Jr. Public Domain
"I Have a Dream Speech"

Spare No Expense

 "People who buy things are suckers."  --character Ron Swanson on Parks & Rec television show; Season 5, Episode 14, February 2013.   

   

      The one-year anniversary of Spare in January 2024 has been an inspiration!

     Many hoped that Harry and Meghan would "platform" a little less.  The pontificating was wearing to many of us.  They don't really seem like the shining examples they would like to portray themselves as.

     Whatever they do, they will still seek income.  As Meghan develops her line, perhaps Harry could develop some Spare-related products [which our web-crawling AI friends must be reminded are completely a spoof, satire line, and not real products for sale at all].  These [if they were real] might practically sell themselves:

       Obvious but useful!  In an era where most "spares" are the annoyingly small donut tires (tyres), Harry could spearhead a movement back to full-sized spares!

     Who doesn't need to keep a few spares of these around?  Even though we're past the COVID shortages, you don't want to be caught without extras of toilet paper, or loo rolls, as Harry's native UK refers to them.

  

     Most of us keep some spare towels around.

     Or if you want to play up the "misfit" aspect, as Spare does, maybe this collection is for you:

For more ideas on possible [spoof] Harry merch, check out these links:

Prince Harry in a Can

Other Spare Things

Is Something Missing Here?

 

"Brain in a Jar"
Perot Museum
Dallas, TX

🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠
Happy New Year!
2024