If They'd Have Had Facebook....

Please pardon what you find objectionable.....it's pretty funny stuff!

[Time Doesn't Always Heal]

They say that 'time assuages,'-- 

Time never did assuage; 

An actual suffering strengthens, 

As sinews do, with age. 

Time is a test of trouble, 

But not a remedy. 

If such it prove, it prove too 

There was no malady. ---Emily Dickinson

A Little Vet Humor

Q: What do veterinarians do all day?  
A: "Lab" work & "CAT" scans! (ouch!)  🐱😸😹😺😻😼😽😾😿🙀       

Just for Today

"Oh, Lord, let me never forget how replaceable I am to the world
Nor how irreplaceable I am to you. Amen." ---Marie Byars 

  

More (*Groan*) e-Mail Puns

Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.  🛫
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. 

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. 🦷
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.' ♘♜♝♛♜♗♕♚
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're identical twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

How's That?

"How come we believe both the truisms 'The Devil 👿 is in the details ✍' & 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'??? I mean, doesn't cleanliness involve paying attention to details?" (ha, ha!) --Marie Byars     

Happy Spring!

Padding along the eastern side of the lake in the still of the morning, we soon saw a few sheldrakes, which the Indian [guide Joseph Polis] calle Shecorways...we also saw and heard loons, Medawisla, which he said was a sign of wind. ---"Allegash & East Branch"; Henry David Thoreau