Failed Products

     Sometimes products just don't catch on the way developers hope.  Here are some product disappointments of recent years:

Oh, yes and Happy April Fools' Day!  😁 😜

More Ducal Branding

     The related post of this date (take a look) suggested some ways King Charles' second son could use his branding to set off in a new life direction.  Might we suggest some more?

Spare Bowling Alley Chains

          We all know spares are not as desirable as strikes in bowling.  Strikes come in the 1st part of the frame, spares come in the 2nd.  Spare Bowling Alleys give you the space to nurse your bad feelings towards self and others for getting spares, not strikes.  And if you're a loser who can't even get a spare, we are here to remind you we don't really have time for you-- you're not important to anyone's story.  Spare Bowling Alleys will impress that point upon you.  Only those who are stuck getting Spares, not strikes, are allowed to nurse their bad feelings about their bowling lives.

Harry's Spare Parts

     Prince Harry expressed his opinion that his parents had him primarily as a backup to his brother, even to provide spare body parts if his brother needed them.  Perfect tie-in for this business.  Instead of your tired old NAPA, O'Reilly, AutoZone, etc., buy parts that weren't needed for another car!  A few steps above "junk" and wrecking yards, but you'll still walk away knowing that these parts were never really loved as much as the originals. 

     (Once again, it is not right to be cruel nor hateful to Harry.  I have some sympathy for him, just not in the ways he demands it.  There is a certain ridiculousness to much of what he says.  Left to stand, this reinforces some of the worst trends in society.  As before, please do not assume what my actual mindset is.  Look at my blog carefully before assuming.  If someone stumbles upon this little blog, assumes things wrongly and leaves comments, I will respond strongly with verifiable information, not feelings or conspiracies. Thank you.)

12 Days of Christmas* Math

If you got everything listed in the carol "The 12 Days of Christmas", here is what you would end up with:

12 partridges (in either one or 12 trees!)

22 turtledoves

30 French hens

36 calling birds

40 golden rings

42 geese a-laying  (and, at some point, all those goose eggs!)

42 swans a-swimming

40 maids a-milking (it's not even legal to give people as gifts; it never was ethical, even when legal!)

36 ladies dancing

30 lords a-leaping

22 pipers piping (oh, the noise if they're all bagpipers! 

12 drummers drumming (add this to the pipers and, oh, what noise on Day 12!)

[There are formulae for figuring total numbers of gifts, also.]

You will need to sell the golden rings to clean up the bird mess!

*The 12 Days of Christmas are NOT before Christmas, as a lead-up to them. Rather, they go from December 25th to Twelfth Night, January 5th. The next day, January 6th, is Epiphany, commemorating the coming of the Wise Men (before it commemorated the coming of other people to Washington, D.C. in 2021 😒).  [You can find several accounts on-line about how it was supposedly a way to secretly communicate Roman Catholic doctrines during Tudor Anglican times.]

Growing Up?

 

The best parts of adulthood are the parts of childhood that you can sensibly incorporate.  --Marie Byars

Sledding (Mis)Quotes by Marie

 

"I sled, therefore I am"  --Rene Daycart

"Climb every mountain... Then sled down." --Oscar Hammerstone

"Sometimes a sled is just a sled."  --Sigmund Fraud

"I came, I saw, I sledded."  --Julius Freezer

Quote from St. Nick

 “The giver of every good and perfect gift has called upon us to mimic His giving, by grace, through faith, and this is not of ourselves.”  ― St. Nicholas of Myra; (St. Nicholas Day is December 6th)

Happy Father's Day!

 

"I am your father."  --Darth Vader to Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back

"No, Buzz, I am your father."  --Zurg to [a] Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story 2

"I and My Father are One [substance]." --Jesus Christ in John 10:30  

"Every father should remember that someday his son will follow his example, not his advice."  --Charles Kettering    

"Father!-- To God Himself, we cannot give a holier name."  --William Wordsworth  

"It is easier to build strong children then to repair broken men."  --Fredrick Douglass 

"Fathers, like mothers, are not born.  Men grow into fathers, and fathering is a very important stage in their development."  --David Gottesman  

"Having children is a lot like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up."  --Ray Romano  

Happy Mother's Day!

This month, I'm putting in part of a poem by English Jesuit poet, Gerard Manly Hopkins.  I am not putting in on my other blog because, while it's got nature in it and expresses a form of Christianity, it has many specifically Roman Catholic ideas I do not agree with.  Hope you enjoy it!

The May Magnificat* 

May is Mary’s month, and I

Muse at that and wonder why :

Her feasts follow reason,

Dated due to season—**

Candlemas, Lady Day ;

But the Lady Month, May,**

Why fasten that upon her,

With a feasting in her honour ?

Flesh and fleece, fur and feather,

Grass and greenworld all together ;

Star-eyed strawberry-breasted

Throstle*** above her nested

Cluster of bugle blue*** eggs thin

Forms and warms the life within ;

And bird and blossom swell

In sod or sheath or shell.

All things rising, all things sizing

Mary sees, sympathizing

With that world of good

Nature’s motherhood.

Their magnifying of each its kind

With delight calls to mind

How she did in her stored

Magnify the Lord.

Well but there was more than this :

Spring’s universal bliss

Much, had much to say

To offering Mary May.

This ecstasy all through mothering earth

Tells Mary her mirth till Christ’s birth

To remember and exultation

In God who was her salvation.  --Gerard Manley Hopkins, SJ, 1844-1889 *The "Magnificat" is a name given to Mary's song from Luke chapter 1. She sang it when the angel told her she was going to become the mother of the Savior.  It starts out, "My soul magnfies [makes great, praises] the Lord..." **There are other feast days honoring Mary.  The Roman Catholic Church has set May aside as a month to honor her since the17th century.  Pope Francis recently declared the Monday after Pentecost to be a feast day for her, since she seems to have been present at the coming of the Holy Spirit.  In 2021, it falls on May 21st.  A saints day for her that some Protestants also recognize is August 15th;  Catholics take this as the commemoration of her being taken up alive into heaven.  The Annunciation, marking of when the angel Gabriel came and announced her divine pregnancy is in March (nine months before Christmas).  Candlemas is February 2nd and celebrates the Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, coinciding with the end of forced ceremonial confinement that a Jewish woman had for 40 days after the birth of a child. He seems to be saying that nature gives many signs that this month honors Mary.  Interestingly, though the US and many other countries celebrate Mother's Day in May, the UK celebrates it in late March.   ***Throstle:  old-fasioned word for "thrush" ****Many birds' eggs are blue.  Blue was chosen as a symbolic color for Mary, representing faithfulness and purity.  This is saying, as the eggs warm and nurture life inside, Mary did this as Jesus grew within her.

Pro-Life Bona Fides

Being pro-life, really being pro-life, means realizing you wanted these lives in the world when you see disagreeable toddlers in the grocery store or are seated near crying children on a plane.  Oh, and blaming it on bad parenting (as in "I'm pro-life, and the mother should definitely have had these children, but they're only being awful because she's a bad parent") doesn't count.  It also may not be true. 

Being pro-life isn't easy for anyone.  It's not easy for the mother who bore children at times that weren't convenient for her. But it's also not easy on the rest of society.  If you're Christian and pro-life, it doesn't fit the full Biblical ethic to make it solely "that woman's problem."  Be pro-life in the best sense of the word, and embrace the messiness that comes from children being in the world!

Changes Prompted by 1918 Flu Pandemic

      The 1918 global flu pandemic, coming in the wake of WWI, was a travesty.  So many people were shaken by it, and by their responses (sometimes more selfish than they would have thought of themselves), as well as their survivors' guilt, that first-hand accounts of the flu largely disappeared.
     However, the whole tragedy prompted some positive changes that stay with us.  Here is a slide show accounting of some of those changes:

Daily Mail: 10 Major Changes Resulting from the 1918 Flu Pandemic
 
     I was really surprised this event was given so much credit for countering "eugenics."  Eugenics was the study of how to arrange human reproduction to increase the passing down of "desirable" inherited characteristics. That meant so-called less desirable people were forcibly sterilized (including in the U.S.) There were attempts to promote abortion more heavily among the poor. The 1918 pandemic helped people realize that the conditions of poverty, not personal "defects", allowed diseases to spread more rapidly among the poor.
     Francis Galton, an Englishman, was largely responsible for first developing this line of thinking.  In the U.S., Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, came to believe in eugenics.  (It's not true, however, that she did it for racially motivated reasons.  In "The Eugenic Vale of Birth Control Propaganda" (1921), she wrote that "the most urgent problem today is how to limit and discourage the over-fertility of the mentally and physically defective."  Eugenics was finally dealt its death blow after the Nazi's abhorrent use of it.

More Corny Jokes

🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

What did the mommy rope say to the baby rope?
"Don't be knotty."

How do you make an orange giggle?
Tickle its navel.   🍊

What kind of candy is never on time?
Choco-late.  🍬

What do you get when you cross an elephant with Darth Vader?
An ele-vader.   🐘 👐👥

What has four legs, one head, but only one foot?
A bed. 🌙🌃


What are a storm's undergarments?
Thunder wear.  ☂⛆


Why was the broom late for work?
It over swept.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.   🏆
Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach?
It didn't want to peel.  🍌

What do you call a dentist who cleans alligator teeth?
Crazy!!!  🐊

Corny Jokes

 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

Why do you eat sausage on February 2nd?
Because it's "ground hog."🐷🐷🐷🐹🐹🐹

What's a baby's motto?
If at first you don't succeed, cry, cry again.

What kind of craft does a pine tree do?
Needlepoint!   😝

What did the tomato say to the mushroom?
"You look like a fungi [fun guy]."

Where does the trombone stay off the merry-go-round?
Because it likes the slide.   🎵🎵🎵


Why aren't the trumpets on the slide?
Because they like to swing.  🎺🎺🎺 

Why don't Dalmatians like baths? 
They don't like being spotless.

Why did the hamburger quit answering questions?
If felt like it was being grilled.  🍔🍔


What did the cake say to the knife?
"You want a piece of me?"

What's the cleanest section in the choir?
The soap-ranos.   🎶🎶🎶

On a stoplight, red means "stop" and green means "go."
When does red mean "go" and green mean "stop"?
On a watermelon!  🍉🍉🍉😏

Epiphany Day & Carnival Season

Homemade "King Cake" for Epiphany Day, January 6th, the kick-off of Carnival Season.  Purple for Justice, Green for Faith, Gold for Power. Named for the presumed Three Kings (really, an unknown number of Magi, or "seers").  A plastic Baby Jesus is put inside, and whoever gets Him brings the next King Cake.

Short Rhyme

Big Thought

Never ignore 
Someone's cri de coeur.*    ---Marie Byars  

*"Cry of the heart"

Route 66 Tour

Route 66, where it splits off from I-40 in northwest Arizona

Wild Burros in Oatman

Colorado River, Grand Canyon

Different than in National Park

Permit to drive down (!)

Knock Yourself Out

(Knock-Knock Jokes to Make You Groan)

1: Knock-Knock.
2: Who's there?
1: Owl say.
2: Owl say who?
1: You're right, they do!

1: Knock-Knock.

2: Who's there?

1: Pencil.
2: Pencil who?
1: Never mind; it's pointless.

1: Knock-Knock.

2: Who's there?

1: Kanga.
2: Kanga who?
1: No...Kangaroo!

******************

How to end a Knock-Knock joke:

1: Knock-Knock.
2: It's open!

My Son's "Christmas" Humor

Alphabet Soup

Apparently, I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.  I don't know "why"....  😉 
---Anonymous

Onward, Christmas Warrior

     Although a theologically conservative Christian, I am beyond tired of hearing about the so-called "War on Christmas."  Now, with some Evangelicals all but mandating we say "Merry Christmas", I'm rebelling.  I don't want these guys telling me what I must say over the holidays. So, I will NOT be saying "Merry Christmas."  But I'm not settling for a secular "Happy Holidays."
     My preferred seasonal greeting, being German-American is "Fröliche Weihnachten."   (That's roughly pronounced "FRAY-lick-eh VY-nahk-ten."  It literally means "Happy Holy Nights."  If you can get it out well, my respect for you will grow.)  I will also respond to "Feliz Navidad", "Buone Natale" or "Joyeaux Noel." I'm going to add "Nollaig Chridheim" (Scottish-Gaelic) to my lexicon, in recognition of the great amount of Scottish blood my husband and children carry.
     Please do not darken my presence by trying to force a "Merry Christmas" out of me.
Thank you.  💚💗💚💗😉

October in Northern Arizona