Equal Balance

“The tempter always works on some real weakness in our own system of values: offers food to some need which we have starved.”

   "I am a democrat [believer in democracy] because I believe in the Fall of Man. I think most people are democrats for the opposite reason. A great deal of democratic enthusiasm descends from the ideas of people like Rousseau, who believed in democracy because they thought mankind so wise and good that everyone deserved a share in the government… The real reason for democracy is just the reverse. Mankind is so fallen that no man can be trusted with unchecked power over his fellows...
     "I do not think that equality is one of those things (like wisdom or happiness) which are good simply in themselves and for their own sakes. I think it is in the same class as medicine, which is good because we are ill, or clothes which are good because we are no longer innocent… Legal and economic equality are absolutely necessary remedies for the Fall, and protection against cruelty...
     But medicine is not good... When equality is treated not as a medicine or a safety-gadget, but as an ideal, we begin to breed that stunted and envious sort of mind which hates all superiority. That mind is the special disease of democracy, as cruelty and servility are the special diseases of privileged societies. It will kill us all if it grows unchecked. The man who cannot conceive a joyful and loyal obedience on the one hand, nor an unembarrassed and noble acceptance of that obedience on the other - the man who has never even wanted to kneel or to bow - is a prosaic barbarian.      "But it would be wicked folly to restore these old inequalities on the legal or external plane. Their proper place is elsewhere...It is there, of course, in our life as Christians -- there, as laymen, we can obey – all the more because the priest has no authority over us on the political level. It is there in our relation to parents and teachers – all the more because it is now a willed and wholly spiritual reverence. It should be there also in marriage. We shall never be safe unless we already understand in our hearts all that the anti-democrats can say, and have provided for it better than they."  --C.S. Lewis, "Equality"; The Spectator, 1943
C.S. Lewis on Equality and Our Core Misconception About Democracy
"Equality"; The Spectator, vol. CLXXI (27 August 1943), p. 192

Memorialized

The words of the First Amendment, immortalized on the wall of the First Amendment Building, Northern Arizona University.

     Notice what is says about religion:  the government should neither try to create a state religion nor repress citizens' rights to hold their religions.  Both "sides" in the Cultural Wars have it wrong. GLAAD & the LGBT community aren't going away, the Southern Baptists Convention isn't going away.  Evolutionary scientists aren't going away and creationists aren't going away.  Etc., etc, so we might as well learn how to agree to disagree.

Theodosius the Atrocius

It's real popular with a certain crowd of conservative Christians to talk about creating "a Christian nation" here in America.  Talk about misguided!  That's never commanded in the New Testament.  We're supposed to get on with our work of sharing the Good News of Jesus through private endeavors.

In fact, an early attempt to create "a Christian nation" did not turn out well.  The Roman Emperor Constantine is somewhat well known for making Christianity legal. Before this, Christians had suffered episodic persecution.  Then Theodosius came along and made Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire.  Theodosius did some really foolish things as emperor.  Though his rule was not the final cause of Rome's fall, it did add to it.  Plus, the Christians turned around and persecuted the pagans, something we were never told to do.  In fact, both Jesus & St. Paul had given us such injunctions as "put up your sword [in regards to religious matters]", "shake the dust off your feet [just go on your way]", and "as much as it is possible for you, live in peace with others."  

It seems to work better to use the economic benefits that come from well-run governments and societies to support the Christian Church privately.

It's interesting that Rome fell AFTER it became "officially Christian."  This should be a warning that creating a Christian nation is not going to guarantee an easy life.  Read on:

Theodosius I- Wikipedia

Theodosius I- Encyclopedia Britannica

Plus, you had people "glomming on" to Christianity to curry favor with the Emperor and other high officials. Christianity lost its glow as a movement of grace and love, first God's towards us, then Christians' towards each other.

It also led into centuries of forced state church religion in Europe. After warfare done in its name, a lot of Europe has shed Christianity.

This is NOT the way to go.

An Ephesians Ethic

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only such talk as is good for building up in need, so that it will give grace to those who hear."  Ephesians 4: 29

"Neither should there be filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are not fitting, but rather thanksgiving."  Ephesians 5:4 

                      --St. Paul (by the Holy Spirit)

Nuremberg

Nuremberg is an absolutely beautiful city in Germany.  These photos are from the Frauenkirche, the Church of Our Lady (the Virgin Mary).  Nuremberg also stands as a stark reminder of other things. Because this city had a primary palace used for important events by the Holy Roman Emperor ("The Second Reich"), Hitler chose it for his Nazi rallies. Because of this, Nuremberg was nearly bombed out of existence by the Allies towards the end of World War II.  The Germans did rebuild it, but there are things that were never rebuilt. Some of this was intentional, as a perpetual reminder of the evils of Naziism.

This, of course, was also the scene of the post-war Nuremberg trials. The Allies found a venue which was not destroyed to host them.

As some of our foolish U.S. population toys with Nazi rhetoric, even daring to borrow German phrases when they probably don't speak the language, it is important to remember that eventually justice comes to those who oppress and terrorize others.

Onward, Christmas Warrior

     Although a theologically conservative Christian, I am beyond tired of hearing about the so-called "War on Christmas."  Now, with some Evangelicals all but mandating we say "Merry Christmas", I'm rebelling.  I don't want these guys telling me what I must say over the holidays. So, I will NOT be saying "Merry Christmas."  But I'm not settling for a secular "Happy Holidays."
     My preferred seasonal greeting, being German-American is "Fröliche Weihnachten."   (That's roughly pronounced "FRAY-lick-eh VY-nahk-ten."  It literally means "Happy Holy Nights."  If you can get it out well, my respect for you will grow.)  I will also respond to "Feliz Navidad", "Buone Natale" or "Joyeaux Noel." I'm going to add "Nollaig Chridheim" (Scottish-Gaelic) to my lexicon, in recognition of the great amount of Scottish blood my husband and children carry.
     Please do not darken my presence by trying to force a "Merry Christmas" out of me.
Thank you.  💚💗💚💗😉

The Koch Brothers

[things you might want to hear from a Centrist, not a liberal]

OK, so I'm not a Democrat. But I'm still going to lay it in on the line with the sneaky, snarky Koch Brothers' Take-over of Democracy (TM).  You don't have to be a Democrat, and certainly not a Bernie-phile, to dislike their actions.  I dislike their actions so much that I would like to get personal about them, but that's not really my style. Besides, it makes for weak ad hominem ("personal attack") arguments. Right now our public debate is over-stuffed with weak ad hominem arguments.

There's a reason I'm singling them out over other bazillionaire political donors:  they seem to directly buy off more candidates, they've wrecked more havoc on the world through their businesses than have others, and they've pretty much bought off the Republican Party.  (Neither Soros nor Weinstein got that far with the DNC.)

So, in partial time-line format, here goes:

Mid-1900s:  Old Man Koch (the father of these current old men, that is) dealt with the Soviet Communist leader Stalin, one of the most evil, murderous dictators ever.  He and a partner did this by helping Stalin set up oil refineries.   That's a big part of how the Koch fortune was made.  To his credit, the old man did back down when he saw some of the suffering Stalin perpetrated.  But, still...

1974-- Some of you will remember the infamous gas lines of the 1970s.  Koch was one of four oil companies accused of overcharging customers. They were fined $50,000.  (That was a heftier sum back then.) 

1980-- David Koch was the Libertarian Vice Presidential candidate in 1980.  They thought Reagan was too liberal. 

1980s and beyond.  There are four Koch brothers.  Two of them are less ruthless, and there was a lawsuit between the brothers in the past.  Their father left them the petrochemical business.  The other two brothers felt the infamous David and Charles were spending too much of the family/corporate earnings on their own political aspirations.  The other two felt that David and Charles should have been paying out more to family members in dividends.  The feud finally ended, but the other brothers have not thought of David and Charles as being very fraternal.  Brother William ("Bill", David's twin) has been one of the whistleblowers on the infamous two.

1990s-- The Koch Pine Bend Refinery in Minnesota dumped 600,000 gallons of jet fuel into a river throughout the decade.  The bros were fined $6 million, $2 million of it in remediation for violating the Clean Water Act.  (Any wonder why there's such a call now for "deregulation" and shrinking the EPA?)

1990s-- A Koch refinery vented massive amounts of benzene into Corpus Christi, Texas, five times the legal limit.  They did this knowingly, having taken pollution control devices off their equipment. They would wait until evenings or weekends, when there were fewer regulators on staff to observe them, to dump out fumes.
      The Kochs plead guilty to a single felony to avoid criminal prosecution.  They were to have paid $20 million in fines, but George W. Bush came into office and largely let them off.
     On April 9th, 2001, the US Department of Justice weighed in. There was a five year probationary period.  There was to be strict new environmental compliance program.  You can find record of the DOJ briefing on-line.
    (Benzene, in excessive amounts, causes anemic conditions by damaging bone marrow.)

1994-- The Koch Brothers were accused of covering up issues with a faulty pipeline in south Texas.  (The pipeline had been built in the 1940s.)  90,000 gallons of crude oil leaked into Gum Hollow Creek.  Employees had warned leadership, but they were ignored.

1995-- The EPA & U.S. Coast Guard filed a civil suit against the brothers' companies.  They were accused of unlawfully discharging millions of gallons of oil into the waters of six states.

Mid 1990s-2005. The Koch Bros invested in Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme, which ripped off savings of many individuals.  The Kochs pulled out three years before the collapse of the scheme.  The moved the money from the Madoff venture overseas, so it is untouchable for paying back lower level investors who were ripped off. A judge recently ruled that since the money is offshore, it can't be touched for legal remedies to those ripped-off.

1999-- A whistleblower reported that the Kochs had cheated on Indiana oil leases.  They were fined in 2001 and paid $25 million to settle this.  (Bro Bill brought this up in the on-going feud.)

2008--  I guess we should feel sorry for them. At this time, their $19 billion net worth each dropped to $16 billion each.  Now they espouse deregulation, but they more than made their fortunes back during the regulated times of 2008-2016.  They're up to a net worth of $41 billion each.

2008-ish- 2016-ish.  The Koch Brothers railed against "corporate welfare."  (Great way to make themselves look like "great guys", right?)  They criticized the bail-outs after the financial meltdown of 2008.  It's still debatable, but it does seem like this prevented a worse melt-down, which would have affected everyone worse.  (Although the rich got a lot better return on this, while the middle class still struggles to find its footing.)
      While publicly decrying corporate welfare, they were big financial backers of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, which was all about supporting the bail-outs and corporate welfare.
       2013-- they took economic development monies the federal government had sent to the states for improvements.

2009--  The Koch Brothers were responsible for a superfund site in Michigan, you know, one of those mega-environmental disasters that cost a super-large amount of funds to clean up?  The DOJ and the EPA brought up issues.  The Koch Brothers got away with paying only $7 million for the clean-up by settling in a "sweetheart deal."  (Interesting, as you'll see below, that they fund something called "The Goldwater Institute."  Yet Senator Barry Goldwater had actually been very concerned about environmental issues.)

2009 & beyond--  The Kochs financially assisted big banks in their lobbying blitz against Wall Street reform.

2012-- The Koch Brothers spend ~$400 million on Republican candidates.

~2012-Present--  The Kochs were among other supply side & Libertarian-type advisors encouraging the State of Kansas to keep lowering their taxes.  (The Kochs are more-or-less headquartered in Wichita.)  Governor Brownback went along with this, despite seeing how similar policies had ruined Louisiana under Governor Jindal.  Kansas has faced bankruptcy.  Several schools couldn't finish their 2016-17 school year. And the promised growth in business and income never came.

2017--  The Kochs have told Fox News that they're spending $400 million for the 2018 mid-term elections.

On-going--  The Kochs truly believe that there should be -0- taxes. Can you imagine trying to run a modern nation like that?

On-going-- The Koch Bros. believe there should be NO minimum wage.

On-going-- They give money to the National Right to Life organization, even though they're pro-choice. They know this is one of the surest ways to buy off a segment of conservative voters.  (David Koch is actually pro-choice and pro-LGBT.  But they pay to put socially conservative candidates in office to get the benefits of lowered taxes, less regulation.)

On-going-- the bros call Social Security a threat to the future stability of society.  They have said it's a worse threat than nuclear war. (Great. Add to the inflammatory rhetoric, though usually decrying it.)  Think about that when you have to pay all of Grandma's bills.  Or when a North Korean nuke is flying over your head. Yeah.  Real sensible.

On-going--  While I applaud Senator Jeff Flake for speaking up courageously on the Senate floor regarding current bad behavior in politics, I cannot agree with his close cooperation with the Koch Brothers.  He's taken money from them, and gone to many of their seminars.  Another prominent Arizonan doing likewise?  Governor Doug Ducey.  (And the poor education and infrastructure spending in AZ reflect this.)

On-going-- The Kochs fund the Goldwater Institute in Arizona. One of the recent things the institute did was agree to provide a lawyer to FIGHT the wishes of the electorate of Arizona!  Arizonans did not want the school voucher program expanded, but the Koch-controlled legislature and Koch-controlled governor did it anyway.  A legitimate petition was signed by enough voters to get it on the ballot to override elected lawmakers, a right enshrined in the AZ constitution.  (One which the Legislature has attempted to curtail by reducing the ways in which signatures can be gathered.)  Interestingly, the institute and state leadership backed down on this one.

On-going--  Charles Koch is the Director of the Mercatus Center.  Congress increasingly draws their information and findings for reports and bills from Mercatus.

On-going--  The Kochs have managed to plant "schools" within public universities and have managed to get state legislatures to fund most of the costs. These "schools" are indoctrination programs for Koch thinking. Arizona leaders claim we never have enough for K-12 nor higher education, but they set aside $5 million for ASU and U of A Koch-backed foundations.  To recap:  The state is paying the vast majority of Koch-implemented university programs, not the Kochs.  (Arizona is not the only state to do so, but probably the most egregious example.)

On-going-- Koch College at the College of Charleston obtained personal information about students.

On-going-- They say they believe in prison reform. But they're perfectly willing to shell out big bucks to (White) Republican candidates who use Black inmate imagery as scare tactics to get elected.  (One commentator wryly asked whether the Koch Brothers interest in prison reform and willingness to hire inmates has to do with the 2001 legal finding against them regarding benzene, noted above.)

On-going--  The Kochs want all schools privatized. They're big movers behind the charter school movement.  Problem is, it's inappropriate to always put charters on a pedestal. Charters don't have use licensed teachers.  (This is what the Kochs like, though; no pensions for retired teachers. Why should they have to pay for someone put out to pasture?)  There has been fraud among many charter schools. And, if it's really about better choices for disadvantaged students, there would be a free & safe transportation component.

On-going-- They're Trump "frenemies."  They refused to give Trump money, and he refused to come begging.  They don't like his independence. (All the other GOP primary candidates went groveling.)  They part ways on free-trade  immigration.  But they're lock-step in making sure corporations* & rich people have lower taxes and that we deregulate things---the consequences be d****d!!! 
    (*see other posts with tag "economy"; I'm not totally opposed to restructuring corporate taxes, if it's done right; there is also some room for loosening regulations on loans to homebuyers) 

On-going-- Vice President Pence is in the act.  He's been bought-off for a while. Take a look at the VP's recent activity:
                 Pence Meets with Koch Brother in Colorado

This is from The Hill, a centrist to slightly right-of-center news agency.

If the Kochs would just be responsible citizens and pay their taxes, it might cost them less in legal fees & settlements and election buy-offs.  And leave them a better legacy. I mean, these dudes are getting old. One of them is pushing 80.  It's not like they can take it with them!!!  

D-Day

Gotta post this link again on President Theodore Roosevelt's eldest son, a real D-Day hero!

Brigadier General Ted Roosevelt, Jr.

Wisdom from St. Patrick

"If I have any worth, it is to live my life for God so as to teach these peoples; even though some of them still look down on me."   

“I pray to God to give me perseverance and to deign that I be a faithful witness to Him to the end of my life for my God.”   [from The Confession of the Saint]

Pretty Accurate from the Center

This article from The Atlantic is pretty close to how THIS Centrist sees things.  However, it uses the term "Moderate", which implies someone who doesn't get too involved.  (In the past, being a Moderate worked, because things just naturally moved to the Center, via compromise.  Now, not so much.) 

Moderates: Who Are They, and What Do They Want?

The Right Spirit

"I sing God's music because it makes me feel free.  It gives me hope. With the blues, when you finish, you still have the blues."  --Mahalia Jackson, Gospel Singer, on her choice of music

Reflection

(Lent)


"Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ...willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.” ~Martin Luther; 1st of the "95 Theses"

Labor Day

 

 

Even Jesus worked!  

 

He probably started young, helping out his step-father, Joseph, in the carpenter's shop.

 

Happy Labor Day!

 

 

 

The 50 Shades of the Picture of Dorian Christian Grey

[trash reading for the literary-minded*]

Dorian Christian Grey was exceptionally good-looking and successful in business... whatever that business was.  His friends keep reminding him of how handsome he is.  He sees other people in business aging, being treated as irrelevant, and, well, just not looking "hot" anymore.

 

Dorian had had his portrait painted by an up-and-coming artist.  The portrait and Grey's patronage launched this painter.  But, now, Dorian decides he will make a deal with the dar kside: he will sell his eternal soul for eternal youth.  His aging and every ugly deed he does will show up on the portrait,  instead, which he keeps hidden.

 

 He seduces and marries a young girl, "Anesthesia" (because she quickly dulls the mind, being so vapid). After a few "off-beat" encounters with her (which he had insisted upon, despite her half-hearted commitment), Grey decides he needs something much more bizarre to maintain interest.  He makes Ana sign a contract adhering to absolute secrecy on her part,  agreeing to do whatever he says. He then shows her the portrait and forces her to do weird, unspeakable things with it. (Therefore, I will not speak of them.  But, unfortunately for her, they do not involve body paint.) 

 

 

There are other sources of twisted enjoyment for Grey in this bizarre set-up. He also takes some sort of strange pleasure out of watching his portrait and his wife age while he does not.   He also gets a cheap thrill that "runs like electric current through the very core of his being" (just had to throw in the gratuitous Harlequin romance-type comment) by having her always refer to him as "Mr. Grey, sir."  He enjoys her degradation at watching the French maid (another gratuitous addition) refer to him as "Mon Cheri" or "Babycakes."

 

This goes on for decades.  However, the French maids came and went because, well, they weren't "hot" anymore. Ana realizes his immortal soul is in danger... and, amazingly, she still cares.  At last, she throws caution to the wind, and saves them both.   She throws the portrait in the fire, and he instantly ages. 

 

Grey feels freed, and embraces his new life... a life in Depends, which by now has become a "fetish" for both of them. With his business connections, they become spokespeople for Depends, and meet Mick Jagger on the Rolling Stones Depends tour. 

 

They all live happily ever after... well, at least for about five years.  Then the Grim Reaper, with cold and calculated precision (another gratuitous trite phrase) aims his steady scythe first at Dorian. Ana, seeing this, throws herself on the Reaper's scythe (thanks, Will, for that literary device from Romeo & Juliet).  As the reader can see, even though she disentangled herself from the messy portrait business, she remained as vapid as ever.  

 

[Warning to children & others:  do not try this at home.  Throwing yourself on sharp objects, ending your life for a lost love or ANY reason, or threatening to or thinking about doing are very serious.  Seriously.  Bad parody aside.]

 

 The Reaper stealthily captured Mick during a botox procedure to keep those fantastic lips.

 

So, they all left the world, only minimally improved from basic shallowness.   And, there, my readers, you have it: a Grey literary mash-up. (Not so hard because both men in the originals were callow.)  A mash-up with some elements for the "greying" crowd (pun intended).

 

     ----Author; wisely disavows public connection

     ----Published: USA, TakeAdVANTAGE Books, 3 years from never

 

*For my Christian readers: don't think I've turned on you.  I didn't read the "50" series nor see the movie; just read about them.

For those who object to "50" on domestic violence grounds, please don't think I'm making light of your concerns.  Concerns noted. I agree that Christian Grey shows very abusive tendencies, whatever someone might think separately about BDSM.

 

 

LENT

Christ of St. John of the Cross
Salvador Dali, 1951

Painting History & Information

A Different Course

"In a world that's often unnecessarily cruel, strive to be unfailingly kind."     ---C. Marie Byars

O Tannenbaum: New Translation

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How steadfast are your branches! Your boughs are green in summer's clime And through the snows of wintertime. O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, How steadfast are your branches! O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your boughs can teach a lesson That constant faith and hope sublime Lend strength and comfort through all time. O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your boughs can teach a lesson. --More direct translation from the German (and more meaningful)

A Time for Everything

To paraphrase from words more divinely eloquent than mine:

"There is an appointed time for everything.  
And there is a time for every event under heaven ~
 A time to economize, and a time to expand;
A time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted.
 A time to regulate, and a time to deregulate;
A time to criticize opponents, and a time to build consensus.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to be merciful , and a time to close borders;
A time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing.
A time to search for truth, and a time to give up searching;
A time to expand business, and a time to support the environment.
A time to debate, and a time to bring together;
A time to be silent, and a time to speak.
 A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time for war, and a time for peace. 
What profit is there to the populace from our toils?  I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men: to be wise stewards of earthly resources to use in the Kingdom of God.  He has made everything appropriate in its time."   

          ----Marie Byars, from Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Holy Humor

During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths:

1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People.

2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.

4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

 

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.

She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

 

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?

 

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.

 

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."

"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.

 

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

 

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,

"And all girls."

This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!

 

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.

"I don't need to," the boy replied.

"Of course, you do "his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook. 

 

---anonymous e-mail circular

 

Oh, Behave!

When ISTP's(*) go to formal worship, they have to fight these following urges: (1) to make the person next to them laugh at inappropriate times (2) to find a toolbox to fix all the squeaks & rattles in the sanctuary (3) to touch up the places where the painter didn't cover the walls evenly (4) to take in everything about other worshippers (from a back pew vantage point) while remaining anonymous (5) to sneak out 5 minutes early (6) to whisper in the pastor's ear while shaking his hand, "What do you wear under that robe, anyway?", and (7) to tell "tall tales" during fellowship hour to: (a) see what others will really believe and (b)deflect what the ISTP really has on their mind.

(*It's a Myers-Briggs personality type thing.)