NEWS EXTRA!!!!

BREAKING NEWS: The FBI is investigating irregularities into the 2016 World Series. Director James Comey has decided to make this information public before there are leaks from Kurds attempting to show that Russians were attempting to influence the outcome of America's favorite pastime.
      It has recently been revealed that the originator the Cubbies' curse, William Slanis, was actually of Russian origin; his actual name was William Stanislavsky. He was a Cold War era spy for the Russians. Although Communism has failed and Slanis has long since passed, there is evidence that his Moscow relations, close friends of Vladimir Putin, had been working with WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange, to influence the outcome. The attempt was to create a tied score, to create more disruption and suspicion in American culture at a time when many Americans were already saying, "Holy smokes... how'd we end up in this situation?"

     This came after high-ranking Russians insisted that they would be observers at all games, to ensure that the outcome was not rigged. Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred, in private talks which were secretly recorded by the CIA & just made public, said, "It's absolutely possible for you to have observers at at the Word Series. It's called 'buying a ticket.' Just make sure you do it early." There are now investigatons opening into how many World Series seats were bought by Russians, their exact positions in the stands, and how the tickets were paid for.
      There are also investigations into complaints from all major league teams that the umpiring was rigged throughout the entire season. Many fans took up this position over the season, but felt their opinions went unheard. Ken Bone (the "red sweater guy") commented exclusively (to every major news outlet) that a system is rigged when you can no longer yell at the umpire, "The ump needs glasses!", due to political correctness run amok. (This in spite of his own use of eyewear.) His remarks are under suspicion, now, because he first gained fame by wearing a RED sweater ("red" for Cardinals, not for communists, at least not until more innuendo surfaces) and talking in ST. LOUIS!!!
Russians, knowing that baseball is already steeped in superstition, felt that they could mastermind this. If successful, their next step was to muscle into the Ukrainian vodka business, the true fuel of that part of the world.
      Neither Putin nor Assange would comment. But it has been discovered they speak regularly on red phones named "The Bat-**** Super-Crazy Phone."
It is not known yet whether Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg has been favoring the posts of one team over the other. Alogorithms are being carefully analyzed by the FBI, the CIA, and Mad Magazine.
      Megyn Kelly is undergoing serious new hairstyling, sources reveal, to be prepared to take on this story live. Although Ms. Kelly would not comment herself, one of her staffers leaked, "It's so stupid to have to make it about a woman's hair at a time like this, but you know how it is..."

The Right Spirit

"I sing God's music because it makes me feel free.  It gives me hope. With the blues, when you finish, you still have the blues."  --Mahalia Jackson, Gospel Singer, on her choice of music

Solitude

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air;
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go;
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all,—
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
 
― Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1883


"Solitude" is Wilcox's most famous poem. She was travelling to Madison, Wisconsin, to attend the Governor's inaugural ball. On her way, there was a young woman dressed in black, crying, sitting across the aisle from her. Miss Wheeler moved next to her and tried to comfort her.  When they arrived, the poet was so unhappy that she could barely attend the festivities herself. Looking in the mirror, she suddenly recalled the sorrowful widow and she wrote the opening lines of "Solitude." 

Declaration

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."  --Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence, July 1776.

Link to full text of the Declaration of Independence

Hail, Hail, Fredonia

This is no foolin'.... Fredonia is for real, and I've been there! 

But no "Duck Soup" in sight!

Duck Soup, 1933; Paramount Pictures

Reflection

(Lent)

"Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ...willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.” ~Martin Luther; 1st of the "95 Theses"

Merry Christmas!

 No pithy or humorous thoughts this time.  Just best wishes for a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year....(or Happy Hannukkuh or another holiday, as you wish).  And a picture of outdoor ice-skating in Nevada (on vacation).