Quantities of Food

Q: "Where do mathematicians like to eat?"

A: "On multiplication tables!" ----anonymous children's joke

EEEWWW!!!!!

  Q: What has 2 tongues, 24 eyes, and smells bad?
A: A pair of old tennis shoes! ---Anonymous kids' joke

Car Troubles

Q: What happens to old car mufflers?   🚙
A: They become "exhausted"!!! ---Anonymous children's pun

Change of Fortune

"Don't forget---the stockholder of yesterday is the stowaway* of today." ---Groucho Marx in Monkey Business

*Stowaway, as in someone who sneaks aboard a ship without paying fare. (The first part of the movie, the Marx Brothers' characters were stowaways.)

Thoughts on Time

(on entering a new year)
From everlasting to everlasting
You are God.
For a thousand years in Your eyes
Are as a day just passed
Or as a watch served in the night.

The days which we are given--
In them is seventy years;
Or if there is strength,
Eighty years.
Teach us our days thus to reckon
So that we may obtain a heart of wisdom.

---Moses, from Psalm 90   (translated by C. Marie Byars)

Successful Failure

"Failure after long perseverance is much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called a failure." ---George Eliot [pseudonym for author Mary Ann Evans], Middlemarch (1871-2)

Un-Hidden Talents

    "Be true to yourselves; cherish whatever talent you possess, and in using it faithfully for the good of others you will most assuredly find happiness for yourself, and make of life no failure, but a beautiful success." ---Louisa May Alcott; "Happy Women" in The New York Ledger (1868)